


Saving Jared

by Annie46fic



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Big Bang Challenge, Bottom Jared, F/M, Hurt Jared Padalecki, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Jared/OFC - Freeform, M/M, Protective Jensen Ackles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-16
Updated: 2015-07-16
Packaged: 2018-04-09 13:03:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 32,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4349855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annie46fic/pseuds/Annie46fic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rich Business man Jared is a well-known face in the ER. Is he just clumsy, as his elegant wife claims, or is there something more to his story? Can he be honest and admit that he is a victim of domestic violence? Worse still, can Jared admit that the violence has been perpetrated by his wife? Jensen is the Counselor who helps Jared come to terms with what is happening to him, and soon their relationship becomes more than just professional. The two men fall in love, but what happens when Jared’s wife finds out? It will take more than just love to solve Jared’s problems, but is he brave enough to take the next step?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Saving Jared

**Author's Note:**

> This is my entry for the [Big Bang Challenge 2015 on LJ](http://spn-j2-bigbang.livejournal.com/). My artist for the challenge was [amtamburo](http://amtamburo.livejournal.com/), please [ go and give her the kudos she deserves for the lovely artwork](http://amtamburo.livejournal.com/45304.html). As always, a massive thank you to the mods at spn-j2 for running the challenge.

The ER is packed with people; it’s so late it’s almost early and the lights are dimmed in an effort to calm the crowds. Misha has been on duty for almost twelve hours and his eyes feel so heavy he swears they are weighted. He huffs as another ambulance arrives and he waits by the open doors with an empty gurney his arms aching.

“What’ve we got?” The doors swish open and Misha moves closer, the paramedics look as harassed as he feels and he rubs at his eyes angrily. One more hour and he will be in his bed.

“Male, early thirties; wife says he fell down the stairs.” A body, big and still, is moved gently from the ambulance onto the gurney. “He’s unresponsive, has serious head trauma, a suspected broken leg and damaged ribs.” The medic gives Misha a weary smile. “He needs attention stat.”

Years in and around the ER have made Misha fast and capable. He gets the guy settled on the gurney, shocked at how big he is, his bare feet hanging off the end. Misha gets a glimpse of pale skin, bones prominent in a thin face, long chestnut hair hanging greasily around bony shoulders, the tips smeared with blood. A quick glance tells him the medic was right and he takes the door marked, _Emergencies Only_ , the guy so still Misha wonders if he will even survive the trip let alone the night.

****

Jensen works two jobs. It’s tiring but he needs the money desperately so that he can finish his studies and become a full-time guidance counselor. During the day he works part-time helping couples _heal their marriages_ and in the evenings and some weekends he mans a cart in the local hospital, filled with candies, coffee and magazines, so that visitors can get a hot drink, old ladies can buy forbidden chocolate, and teenagers can get their weekly fix of Bieber. The two things seem unconnected but he found that one definitely helped the other. Jensen loved working with people and it gave him satisfaction to help them, and to make their lives better. Gluing marriages together, or seeing someone smile when he encouraged them to buy a puzzle book – it all mattered, and Jensen was satisfied with his life.

It was Saturday and the hospital was busy; visitors milled around the corridor and crowded his cart buying candies and cuddly soft animals for their loved ones. Jensen took their money and bagged up their purchases, giving help and advice when it was asked for. Some of his customers had haunted eyes, looked as if they hadn’t slept in days and he tried to give them an extra-large smile, and tried to reassure them that everything would be okay. 

He moved through the wards with purpose acknowledging the smiles and waves of his _regular_ customers, slipping sinful bars of chocolate to Colin who was recovering from a tonsillectomy, thrusting free bags of candy to some of the younger kids and reveling in their gap toothed grins. 

ICU was the worst; even Jensen found it hard to be cheery when he entered. It was mostly visitors who stopped him there, buying strong coffee or bottles of caffeinated drinks. He hated the haunted looks on their faces, the shadows beneath their eyes, and the desperation in their expressions. More than that he hated seeing a bed that was suddenly empty and stripped down to its bare bones. Jensen knew what that usually meant, and he also knew the unmeasurable grief that it caused; weeping families that were inconsolable, no miracle for them.

There was a new resident in the bed by the door. Jensen paused for a moment and stared down at the man. He was incredibly tall, long legs touching the end of the bed, arms almost hanging off the sides. His milk white face was covered in bruises, some new and painful looking, others faded to a dirty brown. There was a bandage tied neatly around his head and copper hair spilled from under it, glinting almost gold under the artificial lights. The usual tubes were attached; one for feeding, another for waste, a drip and a blood bag. Jensen shivered and shook himself. The guy looked like a corpse already, and he wondered what the story was.

“Do you have a latte?” A woman tugged at his sleeve and he turned to give her his full attention. She was small and delicate, expensively dressed in a real leather coat with a white fur collar, pressed jeans and knee length boots. Her hair was carefully styled and her make up perfect. She looked out of place here, like she belonged on the cover of one of his magazines, her perfume strong and cloying almost blotting out the scent of hospital.

“Sorry, just regular coffee,” he answered and smiled. The woman nodded and he picked out one of the paper cups. She watched him distractedly, her sloe eyes sharp. “Do you want sugar?”

She shook her head and took the cup from him; he noted that her nails were long and painted a vivid shiny red. A thick gold ring glittered on the third finger of her left hand and Jensen stared at it for a moment wondering.

“My husband.” She jerked her head to where the new patient lay, still and unaware. “He fell down the stairs at home,” she sounded almost irritated. “Such a klutz . . . always so clumsy.”

“I’m . . . .” he paused, he wanted to say he was sorry, that he hoped her husband would be okay but the words stuck in his throat and he flushed awkwardly. There was little or no concern on her face and he couldn’t help but wonder at their relationship. “I hope you enjoy your coffee,” he finished, lamely.

He parked the cart outside the hospital café and sat down to eat his lunch; it was late afternoon and quietening down a little and he sighed as he closed his eyes for a moment, a yawn cracking his jaw.

“Keepin’ you up?”

His eyes snapped open and he found Misha Collins sitting beside him. The guy looked shattered and Jensen couldn’t help but wince in sympathy.

“Nah, but you look like you need a few hours’ sleep.”

“I’m on nights,” Misha murmured in way of explanation. “And I can’t fucking sleep in the day,” he chuckled weakly. “It’s not natural,” he added.

“I hear ya’.” Jensen pushed a cookie in Misha’s direction. “Here,” he said. “Have some sugar.”

“Thanks.” Misha bit into the cookie and made an orgasmic sound. “Oh Jensen, you make these?”

“Of course.”

“You’ll make someone a lovely wife one day,” Misha said and chuckled and Jensen shook his head. 

“I don’t have time to meet anyone,” he replied. “When I’m not here I’m at the center, and when I’m not at the center I’m studying. Men don’t exactly beat a path to my door, y’know.”

“It’ll happen.” Misha finished his cookie with a grunt of happiness. “There’s someone for everyone.”

“There’s a new guy in bed 12 in ICU. He looked awful but kinda cute. His wife was a bit of a bitch though.”

“Ah yes.” Misha frowned. “I was on duty when he was brought in…thought he was gonna croak on me right there and then, but he made it through the night and his doctors are optimistic.” 

“His wife said he fell down the stairs . . . must have been one hell of a fall.” Jensen couldn’t help the odd unease he felt. “. . . Given his injuries.”

“You know that’s the odd thing.” Misha wrinkled his nose and helped himself to another cookie. “They gave him a CT scan and an MRI and they found so many old injuries - lumps and bruises under the skin, a scar on his bicep, lacerations over his chest and stomach . . . his wife didn’t say a lot, just kept saying how clumsy he was, but it’s weird, y’know.”

“Perhaps he played a lot of sports.” Jensen shrugged. “He’s got the physique for it.”

“He’s drastically underweight,” Misha lowered his voice. “Or so the doctors tell me. They’re givin’ him extra vitamins and nutrients.”

“Poor guy.” Jensen’s heart stuttered a little and he made a vow to check on this new patient. “Guess he’ll be okay then.”

“Yeah,” Misha didn’t sound convinced. “I guess.”

“Keep me informed then,” Jensen got the words out quickly and caught Misha looking at him with narrowed eyes, blue and sharp and knowing.

“He’s sick and he’s married dude!” Misha shook his head. “Not a good idea.”

“Just expressing some concern for another human being,” Jensen said and hoped the lie stuck.

“Yeah, right.” Misha grinned at him and threw up his hands in surrender. “Just concern.”

****

The minute Jared opened his eyes he knew. The intense scent of disinfectant, the slow steady beeping of equipment and the heavy drag of something in his arm. He was in hospital and if he was in hospital then it must be bad. It must be really bad. 

“Thank God you’re alright,” Alice’s voice sounded close and he tried to turn his head. The pain was quick and sharp, and he let out an involuntary groan. “You hurt your head pretty badly,” his wife continued to speak. “Don’t try to move.”

The bed dipped as she sat down so that she was in his eye line. As usual she looked flawless, her clothes pristine, her hair glossy and clean. Dark eyes met his and she smiled, her teeth white against the dark plum of her lipstick. Jared swallowed and his throat felt as dry as dust, his mind whirling as he tried desperately to remember what had happened to him.

“You fell down the stairs.” Alice appeared to be reading his mind. “Don’t you remember?”

He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out but a whimper, and he wanted to shake his head, deny it, but he couldn’t actually recall anything beyond pain.

“You are such a clumsy boy,” his wife’s voice was laced with thick affection, a fondness that was alien to him. “Hurting yourself like that.”

He wanted to protest then, but whatever they were pumping into him made him feel disconnected and he couldn’t even form words. Alice shook her head and ran a carefully manicured hand down his arm making goose bumps appear. He felt a shiver of something across the back of his neck and he wished he could move.

Later the doctors came; prodded and poked him, adjusted tubes and fiddled with the machines. Alice lingered nearby and he could hear the softness of her voice as she _explained_ to them what had happened. Jared could barely hear what she was saying and he felt too tired, and too high to even respond. Eventually he was left alone and he slept again, his sleep dreamless for once.

****

They moved him out of ICU and into a private room of his own. Alice walked beside the wheelchair as they pushed him along the corridor, chatting away to whoever might be listening. The guy who was pushing him kept his own council and Jared was thankful for that, thankful that there was someone on this earth who didn’t appear to have an opinion on his clumsiness.

The guy helped him into the new bed and settled him under the sheets; Alice had gone off to find coffee and Jared felt oddly grateful to be free of her for a while. The guy had dark hair and kind blue eyes and Jared felt safe in his care.

“You okay?” The man spoke gently to him, voice soft and kind. “Feeling comfortable, pain free?”

“Yeah,” his voice sounded scratchy, unused. “I’m not bad, considering.”

“Shouldn’t be too long before we get you home.” The guy fluffed up his pillows and handed him the remote. “Kinda’ nice of your wife to pay for a private room for ya’.”

Jared nodded not trusting himself to speak again; he was fairly used to Alice’s _generosity_ but he didn’t want to come across as ungrateful. The guy was watching him and Jared forced a smile.

“Misha.” The guy seemed to make a decision and held out his hand. Jared took it gingerly, the muscles in his arms protesting.

“Pleased to meet you, Misha.”

“I was here when they brought you in.” Misha sat gingerly on the bed and Jared got the impression he wasn’t really allowed to. “The docs were pretty concerned about you.”

“A fall down the stairs will do that.” Jared’s humor was a little strained but Misha laughed anyway. “I guess I must have gone from top to bottom.”

“Yeah, they originally thought you’d broken your leg but at least it’s just a strain . . . means you can get home quicker though.”

“That’s good,” Jared hoped that his new friend didn’t hear the reluctance in his voice.

“You got everything you want? If not Jensen will be around later.”

“Jensen?”

“Yeah he’s the cart guy.” Misha grinned. “Anything sweet or sinful, cuddly or cute and he’s got it. Sells magazines too.”

“Oh.” Jared plucked at the sheets. “I’ll keep my eyes out for him then.”

“You do that.” Misha gave his bicep a tender squeeze. “Something sticky and full of sugar might do you good.”

Jared turned on the TV and flicked through the channels without much interest. Alice had gone home to _rest_ but had promised to come back later. Jared hoped that she wouldn’t bother, he felt tired and his head was beginning to ache. The strapping around his ribs was tight and itchy and his shoulders felt stiff. He’d give anything for a proper bath and he had no idea what he looked like right now, but he knew it couldn’t be pleasant.

****

Jensen pushed the cart into the private room; he couldn’t help but admit he was nervous, his heart thundering and he felt slightly foolish, like some sort of teenager with a crush. He’d been relieved when Misha had told him that Jared was out of ICU and had a room of his own. It was stupid, he knew, to get so emotionally involved with a patient, but he couldn’t help his feelings and he’d always been a _act now_ regret later kind of person.

He’d been openly gay for years and had managed to overcome any objections from family and friends. His life was pretty normal by any standards so, eventually, his sexuality became less and less of an issue as he continued to live an ordinary, fairly boring existence. He worked, he studied, and he went out on the occasional date. There was nothing even vaguely _outrageous_ about him and he was happy in his routine.

He’d known Misha for years; in fact the older man had gotten him the job here and Jensen was grateful. Misha was a nice guy, married with two kids and very accepting. He often went over to Misha’s house for supper, or a movie, and he was made to feel part of the family. Vicki, Misha’s wife, kept telling him a great looking guy like him shouldn’t still be single, and he couldn’t help but flush at her constant praise. Often he’d look in the mirror and try to see what she saw. He was tall and pretty well built; he had short red-blond hair, wide green eyes and a mouth that most women would envy. He wasn’t stupid, he knew women were attracted to him, and men too, but he kept himself to himself. As sappy as it sounded, he wanted to meet that _special someone_ because, as a part-time guidance counselor, he’d seen so many relationships fall apart for so many different reasons, and he needed to be sure.

“Hey,” a soft voice from the bed broke him from his musings. “Misha told me you’d come.”

Jared Padalecki was sitting up in bed looking far healthier than the last time Jensen had seen him. He wore the regulation hospital gown which barely skimmed his broad shoulders and hardly covered any skin. Jensen wondered why his wife hadn’t brought him anything else to wear yet, and he pointedly tried to ignore the acres of brown flesh that the gown left on display. The bruises on Jared’s skin had faded noticeably and there was a lot more color in his high-boned cheeks. Now his slanting exotic eyes were open Jensen could see they were speckled hazel and looked almost gold in the artificial light. His hesitant smile showed that he had perfect white teeth and soft dimples, and Jensen was blown away by the man’s beauty having to remind himself that the guy was married and _off limits_.

“Yeah, here I am with my cart of joy,” Jensen said and wheeled the contraption next to Jared with a grin. “I can offer you chocolate, candy, magazines or puzzle books . . . sometimes I even have balloons.”

“Candy sounds awesome.” Jared licked his lips. “I’m pretty much over the bland stuff they pass as food around here.”

“What about something to read?”

Jared looked over the selection and shrugged.

“I’m not really into fashion or cars,” he said with a sigh. “Guess I’ll have to stick with the TV.”

“What do you like?” Jensen found himself perching on the end of the Jared’s bed. “Um, I can try and get something in for you.”

“Dogs.” Jared’s face flushed a little and he looked incredibly young. “I like to read about dogs.” He laughed a little wryly. “I know that sounds lame.”

“Nah, you’d be surprised! Only yesterday I had to order in some Sponge Bob comics for the old guy in number six.” Jensen pulled a pad out of his pocket and made the pretense of writing something down. He didn’t need to because he was certain he’d remember, but he didn’t want Jared to think he was getting special treatment, wanted to attempt to remain as professional as possible.

“Thanks,” Jared said and rewarded him with another warm smile. “The time goes by pretty slowly in here.”

“You don’t get many visitors then?” Jensen knew the hospital was pretty good as far as that was concerned. They had a twenty-four hour visiting policy and most patients always seemed to have someone by their beds. He hadn’t seen anyone in ICU apart from Jared’s wife and that knowledge made him feel stupidly sad.

“My mom and dad live up in San Antonio – bout a four hour drive away – Alice told them not to bother,” his breath hitched a little and his smile wobbled. “My mom wanted to come but Alice can be pretty determined when she thinks she knows best. I guess she thought I’d be home sooner but they want to keep me for a while to monitor my head,” he said and sighed. “I feel a lot better to be honest.”

“Yeah, but it’s good to be safe rather than sorry,” Jensen tried to sound reassuring. “Especially where the head is concerned.”

“I hear ya’. I just want to be out of here. I hate hospitals, and I-I seem to spend a lot of my time in them.”

“That true?” Jensen remembered what Misha said about Jared’s old wounds and abrasions but he didn’t want to give the older man away. “You accident prone, or something? Play a lot of sports?”

“Something like that.” Jared’s smile had vanished and his eyes looked horribly haunted. “My momma says it’s because I’m so freakishly large.”

“You are pretty huge,” Jensen’s laugh was encouraging. “I guess it takes a while to get used to living up there.”

“I guess.” Jared seemed to find the coverlet interesting. “Alice says I should work out more, try to get more muscle.” He shrugged. “I’m naturally skinny despite what I eat so working out’s hard.” He stared out of the window for a moment. “She’ll be along soon.”

“Does she work?” Jensen wondered why the woman wasn’t already here; if he had someone as sweet and as beautiful as Jared waiting for him he wouldn’t ever leave.

“No. I – it - she doesn’t need to work.” Jared met his gaze with miserable eyes. “I guess you don’t know who I am.”

“Are you famous?” Jensen searched through his memory banks for something, anything but nothing came to mind. Jared chuckled then, soft and wry.

“Not really, not in a celeb type of way. My dad is Gerald Padalecki – he owns . . . .”

“Gerald Padalecki!” Jensen’s heart leapt and his breath caught in his throat. “He owns the biggest chain of restaurants’ in the Southern states! He’s your dad?”

“For my sins, yeah. I work for him, look after the business down here in Austin. I don’t need to, but I want to.” His eyes met Jensen’s again. “Alice keeps house,” he added lamely.

“Oh.” Jensen didn’t want to comment; he’d seen it in his other _life_ \- couples where the man worked and the woman didn’t. Couples where one partner simply _kept_ the other. He felt a sudden surge of compassion for the man in front of him and he had the feeling that his wife didn’t know just how lucky she was.

“It was a love match,” Jared was still talking. “I mean, she didn’t marry me for my money or anything.”

Jensen was pretty unconvinced, but he nodded as he listened to Jared. However deep down, he could sense that most of what the guy said was lies. He’d seen the woman with his own eyes and _high maintenance_ didn’t cover it. 

“I get it. I do.” Jensen got up then, looking at his watch. He’d been here far too long and he had to finish his rounds. Jared stared up at him with flushed cheeks and Jensen felt the need to reassure. “I’ll come in again tomorrow,” he said. “I’ll bring those dog mags, okay?”

“Yeah, great.” Jared looked so despondent that Jensen felt like the lowest heel. “Thanks – f-for talkin’ to me, and listening to me. I appreciate it.”

“No problem.” Jensen dragged the cart out of the room reluctantly wishing that he could stay longer, that he could do more. “See you tomorrow.”

“Yeah.” Jared gave him a wan smile. “See you tomorrow.”

****

Jensen felt bad as he turned on his laptop and googled ‘Jared Padalecki’. Immediately several links popped up, as well as a lot of pictures. Jensen scrolled down until he found a link to _Jared Padalecki’s Winter Wonderland Wedding_. He clicked on it, curiosity burning away the guilt. The pictures were big and glossy and obviously from some social magazine. Jensen peered at them, his mind working overtime.

According to the dates Jared was married in 2009 in Aspen Colorado. The groom’s parents had hired out an entire Ski resort for the guests and the media, and everything looked organized and incredibly expensive. Jensen zoomed in on shots of the happy couple. Jared looked bigger somehow, fitter. His shoulders were virtually bulging out of the smart Tux that he wore, and his face was rounder, eyes brighter. He looked genuinely happy, teeth white in his tanned skin, chestnut hair clean and glossy. The bride was dressed, according to the reports, by Vera Wang and her gown was a riot of lace and jewels. The bridesmaids wore red velvet and, what looked like, real fur stoles. Jensen was in awe of the whole spectacle and he felt something akin to real envy in his gut seeing how happy Jared looked, how his hands fitted around Alice’s tiny waist, and how his lips brushed her hair and his eyes gazed at her with genuine affection.

Jensen sighed and clicked the laptop closed. He was being childish, crushing on a patient he’d seen twice and only talked to once. To Jared he was just the guy with the candy cart; he was no one special and Jared had been lonely enough to enjoy making conversation with him. The guy had money and a beautiful trophy wife. Okay, so he was a tad clumsy and had ended up in ER a few times, but that didn’t make him the tragic hero of Jensen’s fantasies and, really, Jensen was old enough to know better by now.

He had a beer and made his way up to bed; he should have been studying or doing something useful. He had to stop getting so involved with people. So what if it was his job, he just had to learn to be a lot more professional and a lot less complex.

****

Jared shouldered into the shirt that Alice had brought him; it hurt a little and he felt his muscles tug as he pulled the material up over his chest and he wished she’d had the sense to bring him a t-shirt or something easier. His pants took even longer and his injured leg throbbed as he wriggled into them. By the time he was fully dressed he felt exhausted and worn out, and he wished he could just lie back on the bed and sleep.

“Are you ready yet?” Alice came back into the room in a flurry of expensive perfume. She was wearing a white fur coat and leather pants, and he wondered just how much she had been spending while he had been _away_. He swallowed and forced a smile.

“Sorry. I’m still a little tender.”

Alice huffed and began to clear away the magazines from by his bed. He watched as she tossed the ones Jensen had painstakingly found for him and felt instant regret. He’d enjoyed reading about dogs, hell he’d even enjoyed looking at the pictures. A sudden well tamped down longing made his throat ache, and he turned away so that she wouldn’t see his weakness.

“I hope you’re not thinking of getting a dog,” her voice was shrill. “I just ordered that white leather couch from The Arrangement, and claws would be a nightmare.”

“No.” He picked up his backpack with a sigh. “You made your feelings pretty clear on that one.”

“Jared . . . ,” the shrillness turned soft. “You know how important appearances are.”

He did, but he kept silent; all he wanted now was to go home and sit in a comfortable chair, maybe order some take-out and watch TV. He got to his feet and wobbled a little. Alice watched him with narrowed eyes and he righted himself, biting the inside of his mouth to stem the pain.

The cab ride was uncomfortably silent, Jared didn’t have anything to say and Alice stared out of the window tapping long nails on the metal impatiently. Jared watched the hospital fade into the distance and wondered how long it might be before he was back there. 

The maid, Sandy, let them in with a warm smile and a little curtsy. Alice handed Sandy her coat, and only Jared returned her smile. The whole house was pristine, polished and hovered within an inch of its life. Jared managed to make it as far as his _den_ before collapsing on his battered easy chair, eyes closing.

“Steven and Kimberley are coming over tonight to play bridge,” Alice’s voice broke into his reverie. “Supper will be ready at 8pm.” Her nails scratched uncomfortably along his forearm. “I’d like you dressed and ready by then.”

“What?” His eyes opened again and he sighed, weariness washing over him. “Honey I just got home, I’m not feeling quite right yet.”

“Jared, you’ve been resting for nearly three weeks. Surely you must feel better now.”

“I’ve been pretty sick, baby.” He gulped down tears and faced her, the smile on his face so fake he was sure she’d know. “They only let me home because I promised to rest.”

“Bridge is hardly going to tax your strength. Steven is an important client of your fathers.”

“Dad understands,” Jared cleared his throat and gripped the sides of his chair. Already his head felt thick and he couldn’t concentrate. Out of the corner of his eye he could see the steep winding stairs with their ornate railings and hardwood surface. Try as he might he couldn’t remember falling down them, couldn’t remember tripping over his own feet. Somewhere deep in the recesses of his mind he knows that it isn’t right, but the truth is too hard to take so he kept it buried down. “He told me to take time off and relax. There’s no worries about money or anything else. I just need to chill.”

“I’ve been so bored, Jared. Back and forth to that hospital . . . the least you can do is make an effort.” She stopped her scratching and dropped a perfumed kiss on his forehead. “I just want to have some fun.”

He nodded then and got to his feet. He still felt pretty out of it but he couldn’t look into those pleading sloe eyes and say _no_.

“I’ll go shower,” he tried to sound placating. “So I’ll be ready for when they get here.”

She lit up visibly and, for a moment, she looked like the beautiful young girl he’d married. His heart ached for a moment and he wished he could go back in time. 

****

Kim kept her eyes on him during the last hand of cards; his head felt light and his vision blurred. Red and black cards merged one into another and he licked his dry lips searching for a drink.

“Jared,” Kim’s voice was distant but kind. “You should go to bed . . . you look all in.”

“Yeah,” Steven sounded too loud. “You did just get out of hospital.”

“He’s fine.” Alice’s nails dug into the meat of his thigh under the table. “Aren’t you Jared?”

He swallowed; he wasn’t fine, in fact he felt as if he was going to keel over. His head hurt and his leg was throbbing. He felt their eyes on him, and he felt stupidly weak and incredibly vulnerable. 

“I-I . . . ,” he couldn’t get the words out and he tried desperately to concentrate on his cards. Alice was watching him like a hawk and he managed a smile from somewhere, teeth gritting convulsively against the pain. “I’m okay,” he said, finally.

“I can see that you are not.” Kim got to her feet. “Come on Steven.” she swatted her husband’s shoulder good-naturedly. “Let’s leave these good people to settle.”

“He’s okay,” Alice ground out. “Let’s at least finish the game.” She smiled sweetly. “I’ll have Sandy make you some supper.”

“Alice, sweetie, your poor husband’s worn out, He needs some TLC.”

Jared felt the nails in his thigh tighten and he felt blood well up beneath the thin cotton of his pants. He didn’t have to turn to see that she was angry and hiding it badly. He kept the false smile painted on his face as Kim insisted on leaving dragging Steven behind her. He watched as Alice showed them out and he realized that his heart was pounding much too fast, his breath coming in hard pants.

“How embarrassing!” She swept back into the room and knocked the cards onto the tiled floor with one wave of her arm. “You had to act all weak and wussy, didn’t you? Couldn’t suck it up for one single minute.”

He shook his head too tired to argue. Lights were dancing behind his eyes and he felt as if he was going to fall head first onto the floor. He leaned against the wall and tried to stop the world from spinning. He heard Alice’s footsteps get closer, felt her hot breath on his face and he breathed in hard. For a moment he thought things were going to be different and then he hit the floor with a crash, his world whirling away from him once more.

****

Jensen sat at his desk and shuffled his papers; he felt all _official_ when he did that and he couldn’t wait to pass his finals so that he could do this full-time. Not that he wouldn’t miss his hospital job but THIS is what he wanted and it was good to have a goal. It also gave him a chance to stop moping about Jared. The guy had left the hospital over a week ago but Jensen hadn’t been able to get him out of his mind. He’d spent more time than he should googling him, but it had to stop. The guy was married and, undoubtedly, straight so he was off limits as far as Jensen was concerned.

There was a knock on the door and Jensen looked up to see one of his regulars Kim Carlson. She was a willowy attractive woman in her late forties and very sparky. She had been coming to Jensen for nearly three months but he guessed she wouldn’t come much longer as her marriage seemed to be going from strength to strength. Her and her husband had been virtually estranged when Jensen had started seeing them and he considered them to be one of his greatest successes.

“Hey,” she said and smiled at him and he gestured she sit. “It’s only a flying visit sweetie. I kinda’ needed your advice.”

“Not more problems, I hope?” His heart sank and he prayed he hadn’t been over confident about solving any difficulties she had had with her marriage.

“Oh no, Jensen. Steve and I are happier than we’ve been in years. He bought me flowers the other day, which was practically unheard of before,” she giggled. “You are a miracle worker.”

“Thanks.” He smiled. “So why do you need my advice?”

“It’s for a friend.” Her cheeks flushed guiltily. “I’m worried about him.”

“Yeah? Is he having problems with his marriage?”

“He’s not said as much, no . . . but - Jensen things have been weird with him for so long, and he’s such a lovely guy.”

“Obviously it’s hard for me to discuss things like this.” Jensen fiddled with the papers on his desk. “Without knowing more.”

“I shouldn’t, not really.” Kim bit her lip and paused. “But last week we went to his house. The poor guy had just gotten out of hospital, and he looked like warmed over crap, but his wife . . . she insisted that we play bridge, and have some sort of social. I made sure we left pretty early, but she did not look happy.” Her teeth were gnawing convulsively at her bottom lip. “We didn’t hear from either of them after that, and when I called round a few days later she wouldn’t let me see him. His wife said he was _recovering_.”

“Perhaps he was.” Jensen’s stomach was suddenly very tight and his heart clenched painfully in his chest. Surely it couldn’t be Jared, it would be too much of a coincidence.

“She didn’t seem to be very keen to even let me over the threshold.” Kim looked worried. “The guy – he’s built like a brick outhouse, six foot six and fairly capable, but he always seems to be having _little accidents_. He’s often got unexplained bruising, or scratches on his arms and face. If I didn’t know better I’d say someone was beating him up.”

“Beating him up?” Jensen let the weight of her words sink in and he leaned forward hoping that her answer to his next question would be a _‘no’_. “This guy . . . his name isn’t Jared Padalecki, is it?”

“Yeah!” Kim looked stunned. “Y-you know him?”

“He was at the hospital where I work.” Jensen couldn’t believe this was happening. “He fell down the stairs, apparently.”

“You spoke to him?”

“I brought him magazines and candy most days; we didn’t talk much, but he seemed to need a friend.” Jensen’s throat was dry. “Who do you think might be hurting him? Do you think he’s in some sort of trouble with . . . ?” He realized how stupid it sounded before he even said it. “The mob?”

Kim chuckled then but it was small and forced. She shook her head.

“If you know of him, you know he hasn’t got any money problems and I don’t think he’s a gambling man.” She chewed on her lip again and Jensen’s whole body tensed, concern thrumming through him. 

“Then who?” He asked, finally.

Kim flushed again and appeared to be having problems meeting his gaze.

“It’s not for me to say but if I could maybe get him to come here, would you talk to him?”

And it was then that Jensen should have said no, he should do the right thing and pass him on to a colleague. It was then that Jensen could have broken every tenuous tie to the enigma that was Jared Padalecki. However, instead of doing the right thing Jensen found, not for the first time in his life, himself doing totally the wrong thing with his heart shouting loud and clear and ruling his head without question.

“Yeah,” he said, looking down at the papers as if they might inspire him. “I’d talk to him.”

****

Jared heaved himself out of bed and into the shower room; he felt hot and dirty and he needed, desperately, to wash his hair. He could smell his own stink and he threw off his sleep pants and turned on the water. It was warm and refreshing against his hectic skin and he leaned back into it rubbing his hands gingerly across his chest as he soaped himself down.

He still ached all over and his more recent lacerations stung painfully as he washed himself. Alice told him he didn’t need to go back to the hospital, nor did he need to see a doctor. She insisted that all he needed to do was to get back to normal, and he’d tried but he was just so exhausted. His mom had phoned him nearly every day, and he’d heard her concern. She kept asking him to go up to hers for a few days, she even offered to fetch him if he didn’t want to drive, and he’d been so damn tempted but Alice had put her foot down saying that he wasn’t ten, and that he should just suck it up and not go running to his parents every time something went wrong. He sighed as he stepped out of the shower and wrapped himself up in one of the carefully chosen towels. 

He was sitting on the bed when the phone rang. As soon as he picked it up he heard Kim’s concerned voice.

“Hey – how relieved am I to hear you. Are you feelin’ any better?”

“Yeah,” he hoped she wouldn’t hear that he was lying. “Yeah, lots.”

“Um – I wondered if you’d like to come over and have a coffee with me,” her tone was kind and placating. “If you feel like you could drive, that is.”

“Um . . . .” he paused and glanced at the clock. Alice was out with her friends. They had gone shopping, and that usually meant they would be gone for hours. He certainly had time to get to Kim’s and back again, and Alice wouldn’t know he’d left the house. He lowered his head and swallowed down the thick lump of salt that was wedged in his throat. He wondered what had happened to him. How had he become such a weak coward? He had had such dreams once upon a time, he’d dreamed of being happily married, of having his own kids, and maybe a couple of dogs. He couldn’t help but reflect on those dreams but he knew now that they would never come true. “Okay, I’ll get a cab. He began to hunt for some clean underwear suddenly determined to go out, to feel fresh air on his face and to actually live for a while. “See you in a few,” he said and Kim laughed delightedly.

“Yeah,” she said. “See you in a few.”

****

“You said you’d get him to come and see me at my office.” Jensen fidgeted uncomfortably on Kim’s couch. “Not get him here under false pretenses.”

“It’s just coffee, Jensen and maybe a little discussion about how awesome you are.”

“Yeah, but he knows me as the _cart guy_ ,” Jensen huffed and rubbed his jeans. He glanced out of Kim’s huge French window for the hundredth time and the older woman shook her head ruefully.

“And you are an awesome cart guy too,” Kim said and laughed. “I know that it is a little underhanded, Jensen but I’m worried about the guy.”

The doorbell’s chimes interrupted their conversation and Jensen nearly jumped out of his skin. He watched as Kim left the room and went into the hall, heard her bright voice and the low rumble of Jared’s replies. A minute that seemed to last several hours passed and then Kim was showing Jared into the room.

Jensen almost lost his breath; Jared didn’t look much better than when Jensen had seen him last, his face was still pale and overly thin, the bones standing out in stark relief. His hair was almost too long and he didn’t look as if he had shaved for a few days. Despite all of that, he still looked unbelievably beautiful and Jensen’s mouth went so dry he thought he would have problems speaking.

“Jensen?” Jared’s hazel eyes lit up and there was a genuine smile on his face. “I didn’t know you knew Kim.”

“Jensen here was the fantastic counselor who helped me and Steve get our shit together.” Kim patted the couch and Jared sat down next to Jensen, his denim clad thigh brushing against Jensen’s own. “He’s great,” she added.

“I thought you were the guy who brought candy and dog magazines to bored patients,” Jared’s voice was a low rumble. “But it seems you have other strings to your bow.”

“Well Kim might be a bit bias.” Jensen turned slightly so that he could look Jared in the eye. There were still bruises on the poor guy’s face and, as he moved closer, he could see several new scratches on Jared’s elegant hands and wrists.

“No, I remember how miserable she was before counseling.” Jared beamed unaware of Jensen’s scrutiny. “You really are that good.”

“Thanks,” Jensen said and couldn’t stop staring; Jared looked too thin and in desperate need of a good meal. As if Kim had read his mind she got to her feet.

“I’m making chili,” she said. “Do you want some? Don’t make Jensen eat it all on his own.”

“I’m not sure.” Jared glanced at his watch and Jensen saw the unease in his eyes. “I-I . . . .”

“Honey, you and Alice feed me and the old man often enough,” she said and laughed. “At least let me return the favor.”

“Most of the time Alice orders in,” Jared’s statement was random but incredibly sad. “She doesn’t do much home cooking.”

“Speaking of which.” Jensen admired Kim’s sudden change of subject. “Where is she today?”

“She’s shopping.” Jared relaxed a little. “She won’t be home for a while.” He unconsciously rubbed his stomach. “I guess I could stay for some chili.”

“Brilliant!” Kim got to her feet. “I’ll get to serving up. You and Jensen keep each other amused while I’m gone, okay?”

“Sure,” Jensen went for confident ignoring his fast beating heart. “Take your time.”

“I will sweetie.” He hoped Jared didn’t see her wink. 

****

“So . . . .” Jared looked more relaxed than Jensen had ever seen him. “There’s a lot more to you than being an awesome cart guy with a good supply of magazines about dogs.”

“So it would seem.” Jensen couldn’t hold back his smile. “How long have you known Kim?”

“Years. Her husband is a client of my dads’.” Jared leaned back against the couch. “I never really knew they were having trouble, but I know how happy Kim’s been recently.” He closed his eyes for a moment. “You must be good.”

“Not quite yet.” Jensen could see how pale Jared looked, his eyes shadowed, weariness written across his face. “But soon.”

“You must be exhausted.” Jared was looking at him again and Jensen’s breath caught in his throat as, internally, he berated himself, told himself that he shouldn’t become so involved. “Doing two jobs, and studying.”

“I get tired sure, but it’s what I want and I’m determined to do it. I’ve always wanted to help people in some way.”

“What made you choose marriage guidance?” Jared asked. “I mean - how did you come to that decision?”

“I had to choose something to specialize in, and I was offered a part-time job at a center. I wasn’t sure I’d be any good at it.” He found his cheeks heating up as he wondered if Jared had guessed that he might be gay. “I haven’t got much experience in that field . . . having never been married,” he said and laughed weakly. “But I really liked the work, and it gave me immense satisfaction to see how happy people were when I managed to help them. It’s true what they say that if you have a good marriage it’s worth fighting for.”

“Wow.” Jared looked a little awed and Jensen couldn’t help but think it was a good look on him. “It must be great to feel that sense of achievement.”

“You’ve never felt like that?” Jensen couldn’t help himself and he instantly regretted the question, but Jared didn’t seem to notice. 

He shook his head.

“My dad wanted me to go into the family business so I did. It was never really hard, to be honest. I just took over a few of his restaurants down here, most of them are franchised y’know, and it isn’t complicated at all. Most of the time I just take clients like Steve out to lunch, make sure that what they’re doin’ is keeping within my dad’s remit. It’s hardly an achievement.” He looked sad for a moment, and Jensen leaned forward and risked putting a friendly hand on his knee.

“What would you like to do?” He asked, sensing that there was more.

“I-I really wanted to work with animals.” Jared’s eyes were bright. “I love dogs as you know, and there was a shelter close to me where I used to volunteer. The manager encouraged me to maybe go and study veterinary medicine. I had good grades and everything, but my dad wasn’t too happy with that idea.”

“Sorry to hear that.” Jensen chewed on his lower lip. “But maybe now you could do it. I mean you’re old enough, you’re your own person.”

“Alice hates animals,” Jared’s voice was low. “She kinda’ likes the life we have now.”

Jensen swallowed; mouth dry. “Off the record . . . you and Alice seem kind of unsuited.”

Jared flushed then, pink smearing across his high cheeks. He lowered his head and chestnut bangs fell over his eyes. “Off the record,” he whispered. “Can I tell you something?”

“Sure.” Jensen squeezed Jared’s knee reassuringly. “I’m not on the clock right now, but anything you say is between us.”

“When I was in college I had this friend, Chris. He was real cool, y’know? Kinda’ mature. He played country and western music in a bar downtown, and he was a real cowboy.” Jared laughed wryly. “I used to go and watch him play, and he was something’ else. We shared a dorm room, and used to stay up late every night watching stupid TV and drinking beer. I never knew anyone like him before and he was everything I’d ever wanted.”

Jensen’s ears pricked up at that.

“You were in love with your roommate?” He asked, eventually, his eyes fixed on Jared, his heart thundering stupidly.

“I was kinda confused. I-I went home and talked to my momma and she . . . well, she seemed to understand but then my dad took me to one side and told me that they were moving me out of the dorms and into my own apartment. I protested and tried to explain, but he wouldn’t listen to me. When I got back to college after the Christmas break Chris had gone. They told me he’d transferred.” Jared looked at him with sad hazel eyes. “I knew it was something my dad did. He always uses his money and power like that.”

“I’m sorry,” Jensen said.

“Well, two months after that I went to a reception at my dad’s club and Alice was there. My dad introduced us and we spent the whole night together. She was beautiful, and glamorous, everything my dad said a Texas girl should be,” he said and sighed. “I guess I was just a little confused about things. I mean everyone experiments in college, right?”

“I guess,” Jensen said. He wanted to be honest, to lay his cards on the table but something told him to zip it; now wasn’t really the time or the place and he had never been more relieved in his life to see Kim return, chili in hand. “Hey,” he said, trying to keep the relief out of his voice. “About time! I’m starving, and I think Jared is too.”

“Yeah.” Jared looked a little stunned, as if he couldn’t quite believe he’d just confessed his _sordid gay past_. “Yeah, I could eat a horse.”

“Let’s sit then.” If Kim was curious she wasn’t saying anything and, for that, Jensen was grateful. “Lunch is served.”

****

As the cab approached the drive Jared could see the lights blazing and his heart sank; he had stayed out a lot longer than he had anticipated, and Alice had obviously arrived home from her shopping trip. He swallowed, it had been a good afternoon and he hadn’t really wanted to come home. Kim was a great cook and host, and Jensen was a fantastic listener. Jared had found himself telling the other man far more than he’d told anyone, and he didn’t regret it. He wondered if that was partially due to Jensen’s skills as a counselor, but he also liked to think that, today, he’d found a new friend.

He let himself in, and leaned against the hall wall for a moment. All too soon he heard the clack-clack-clack of Alice’s heels on the tile floor, and he turned to see her coming down the hall face like thunder.

“Where the hell have you been?” Her carefully manicured hands rested on her hips and her brown eyes blazed fire. “I came home to an empty house.”

“Kim rang and asked me to lunch.” He noticed the pile of shopping bags leaning against the shoe rack, every single one of them from expensive designer stores. “You seem to have had a productive day.”

Her eyes flashed fire and she shook her head, her lips pursed.

“You’re well enough to go out to lunch, but not well enough to work . . . that doesn’t look very good, does it?”

“I don’t need to work.” Jared met her eyes, tried to keep his chin up, and his voice defiant. “I told you that my dad said to take as long off as I wanted. Hell, you know that we don’t need the money.”

“How dare you take that tone with me?” Alice looked shocked and Jared felt an odd sense of satisfaction. “I’m your wife, and I should be treated with respect. Respect!”

Jared swallowed; there was a lump lodging itself into his throat and his legs were starting to shake. He felt suddenly exhausted and the good feelings he’d had before arriving home were beginning to dissipate.

“I’m sorry.” He put his hands up pacifying. “I shouldn’t have raised my voice.”

“No.” She moved towards him, her hands coming off her hips to reach out towards him, red nails like talons. “You shouldn’t.”

“Look.” He wanted to sit down; he wanted to get a beer out of the fridge and just chill. He still felt weak and his limbs were beginning to ache. “Kim’s our friend, and she just wanted to chat. I thought maybe we could book a table at your favorite restaurant next week. We could ask Kim and Steve if they’d like to come.” He smiled, hoping she didn’t realize how forced it was. “It is your birthday after all.”

“Is that why you went?” Her tone was no sickly sweet. “To arrange my birthday.”

“Of course.” He would have to cover himself, contact Kim, but he was certain Alice didn’t know he was lying. “Why else would I go?”

“Oh Jared, how sweet.” Her arms came up and wrapped around his waist, and he breathed out a sigh of relief as he hugged her back. They were so very rarely affectionate like this, and he knew that, this time, he had dodged a bullet. “Why don’t you go into the study and sit down, I’ll have Sandy make you a coffee.” Her eyes softened. “We could have an early night.”

“Yeah.” It was the last thing he really felt like, but he wanted to make this moment last. “That sounds good.”

She giggled like a child then, and skipped out of the room; Jared watched her go and sat down heavily in the chair, closing his eyes. He thought about the conversation he’d had with Jensen that afternoon, thought about his ambitions, and the things he really wanted to do. Jensen might not be wealthy but he was following his heart, and Jared envied him that. Perhaps it was time for him to rethink his life. He was an adult now. Shit, he was nearly thirty-three years old, and he still let people control him. He suddenly realized that he was unhappy, discontent, and it was within his power to change things. He opened his eyes and stared out of the window into the approaching darkness. Today might be the day things changed.

***

The ringing of his cell made Jensen jump; he opened his eyes and rolled over. It was still dark outside and he wondered who could be ringing at this hour. For a moment he considered ignoring the phone and just going back to sleep. He had an essay due in, plus two clients to see early on. Then he was on the late shift at the hospital. Yeah, ignoring the cell seemed like the way forward, and he let it ring until it stopped and left him in blissful silence again.

An hour or two later there was a loud thumping on his door and he shot up in bed heart pounding. The grey light of morning was just beginning to filter through the drapes and, looking at his alarm, he saw that it was nearly 5am. He groaned and slipped out from beneath the sheets fumbling into his dressing gown. The thumping at his door continued relentlessly and he stumbled down the stairs almost falling over his own feet.

Misha stood on his porch looking wild and more than a little frantic. His black hair was messy and he looked as if he’d only just got out of bed. 

“Why didn’t you answer your damn phone?” He began without preamble. “I’ve been trying to contact you since 3am this morning.”

“Is something wrong?” Unease crept up Jensen’s spine, cold and clammy. “Did one of the kids have an accident? Is Vicki okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah they’re fine . . . it’s not me, dude . . . it’s Jared.”

“Jared?” Jensen’s stomach flipped painfully. “But last time I saw him he was doin' okay.”

“Yeah, well apparently he had another _accident_ last night. He . . . from what the maid said, he stumbled and fell through a window.”

“Jesus.” Jensen stepped back so Misha could come inside. “How the hell?”

“You tell me. He was recovering pretty well from his injuries and, from what Kim tells me, he was looking good. Apparently the four of them went out for Alice’s birthday last week, and Kim said they looked happy.”

Jensen was already searching for his clothing, hunting for shoes and his elusive socks.

“Is he . . . I mean . . . how is he?”

“They’ve got him in ICU, again. He’d lost a lot of blood, and he needed a lot of stitches. They had to give him a blood transfusion.”

“Will I be able to see him?”

“I doubt it, Jensen. It’s family only at the moment. His mom and dad have flown in, and his wife isn’t very happy with that. She’s a real hard case; she came in dressed to the nines, like it was a fashion show, rather than a hospital visit. She seemed more annoyed that she had to cancel her _lunch dates with friends_.”

Jensen swallowed; it had been nearly three weeks since he’d seen Jared at Kim’s house, and despite exchanging cell numbers he hadn’t heard from the younger man. He couldn’t help but admit he was disappointed, he secretly hoped Jared might contact him. He had hoped that they’d maybe be able to go out to lunch again, and to talk as friends. He knew it was wrong and unprofessional, but he couldn’t help it. Jared had affected him in a way that he couldn’t explain, and there was just something about the man, something that tugged at Jensen’s heart, and made him want to help.

“I’ll come in anyway,” he said, as he plugged in the coffee pot with a sudden need for caffeine. “I need to see for myself that he’s okay.”

“Sure.” Misha smiled sympathetically. “I knew that you would want to. He needs all the friends he can get right now.”

“Will he be okay?” Jensen was scared to ask. He thought back to Jared’s previous stay in hospital, to his old injuries, and to the unexplained marks on his body. He had no idea why the guy was so accident prone, and he was beginning to wonder if there wasn’t something else to all this - another, more sinister, explanation.

“I think so,” Misha’s reply made him almost weak with relief. “He’s gonna have another long stay in hospital, but his wife has already coughed up for a private room once he’s out of ICU. He’ll be alright physically, but the doctors are beginning to question his mental state.”

“Do they think he is self-harming?”

“Throwing yourself through a window is pretty drastic, but yeah, it has occurred to them.”

“He wouldn’t, would he?”

“I don’t know him well enough to judge.” Misha shrugged. “But from what I’ve heard, they are sending the hospital psychiatrist in to see him as soon as he’s well enough.”

“We had a long talk when I was at Kim Carlson’s a few weeks back and he seemed okay.” Jensen didn’t tell Misha about Jared’s _gay_ secret, but he wondered if Jared regretted not following his heart. 

“You know better than most what tricks the mind can play on us Jensen. We don’t know what the guy is thinking, maybe it was a cry for help.”

Jensen slipped on his coat and followed Misha out of the door; he didn’t think, not for one moment, that Jared was trying to kill himself. No, his thoughts on Jared’s injuries were much deeper, much more sinister and he didn’t even really want to go there.

****

Jared opened his eyes and winced at the bright lights; hospital again. From what he could tell he was even in the same room. He shifted and his body screamed in pain, the stitches on his arms and chest pulling as he moved. He put his hand up to his face and felt a stupid relief when he couldn’t feel any marks there. His head ached terribly and he felt nauseous.

“We can give you something for the sickness.” A nurse appeared to his left and he watched as she fiddled about with his IV. “You really need to eat Mr. Padalecki, your weight isn’t ideal given your height, and your blood tests show you are anemic.”

“Oh.” He wanted to care but, in reality, he had lost his will to live. He stared mindlessly at the ceiling and he could hear the nurse click her tongue disapprovingly.

“Mr. Padalecki,” she said, gentle but firm. “Shall I get you something for the sickness?”

“Yeah, if you want.” He breathed in deeply and continued to stare at nothing.

“You have a visitor,” the nurse said and came closer. “He says he is your guidance counselor.”

Jared’s heart leapt and he found himself smiling. 

“Really? I thought it was family only. Would I be able to see him?”

“Of course. We make an exception for counselors, and the like, and anyway it’s Mr. Ackles, and we all know him here.”

Jared couldn’t hold back his smile.

“Can you send him in then, and maybe get me something for this nausea?”

The nurse looked at him and shook her head fondly.

“Good to see you smile, Mr. Padalecki,” she said.

****

Jensen looked as if he’d gotten dressed in a hurry but Jared had never been so happy to see anyone in his life before. He tried to sit up in bed but his limbs protested painfully and Jensen shook his head and sat on the edge of the covers.

“Keep still,” he whispered. “You’ve been hurt pretty badly.” 

“I fell through a window.” Jared couldn’t keep his eyes from Jensen’s face. “That’s what they say.”

“Don’t you remember?” Jensen looked anxious and Jared hated that it was him that put that look there.

Of course he remembered. He always remembered but he never said, never confessed. For a start no one would believe him. He felt so foolish and so weak and he couldn’t quite understand how things had gotten this bad. 

“My mind’s a little fuzzy,” he answered, lamely.

“Jared, you know you can tell me anything.” Jensen’s green eyes were wide and bright and, despite the fact they had only spoken a few times, he trusted Jensen but he’d never told anyone; not his dad or his mom, even his brother was ignorant to what was going on. Sure, he’d considered guidance counselors before, but the thought of going to one filled him with fear and he had convinced himself that it wouldn’t matter anyway as they wouldn’t think he was actually telling the truth.

“I can’t,” he choked the words out and tried to turn his head away so that Jensen couldn’t see the tears that were threading their way weakly down his cheeks. “You’re not really my counselor,” he added with a weak smile.

“I could be. I know there’s something going on with you, Jared.”

Jared let the tears flow then, tired of constantly holding them back. He felt worthless. He was worthless, and he just didn’t have the courage to change things.

“Hey.” Jensen leaned forward and put his hands on Jared’s shoulders, squeezed them tight and comforting, his eyes on Jared’s face. “Come on, it will be okay.”

“You won’t believe me,” Jared whispered. 

Jensen kept hold of his shoulders and his eyes were soft, kind and full of trust.

“Tell me,” he urged and Jared couldn’t hold back a moment longer. 

“Yeah,” he murmured, though the lump in his throat. “It’s time to tell someone.”

****

_The first time it happened it didn’t even register. They’d been married for just over a month and he had bought her the house she wanted. When he carried her over the threshold he felt happier than he had done in a while and he thought that he could finally lay the ghost of Chris to rest. He was happy and in love with his wife._

_They went shopping together for furniture; she took him to one of the most expensive designer outlets in Texas and pointed out the soft leather couch with matching chairs. It had a price tag which would strike fear into the hearts of most normal men but he just smiled indulgently and shook his head._

_“That won’t be very practical,” he mused. “For dogs.”_

_The words had been out of his mouth before he could think about them. He had grown up with dogs, his mom and dad always had at least two, and sometimes more. He couldn’t imagine not having one and, although he had never discussed it with Alice, he hadn’t even thought that she would refuse. Her face had been a picture, and the stores very well-spoken assistant had laughed indulgently telling Jared he needed to _‘keep his new wife in check’_. Alice had smiled but he could see that she wasn’t really amused, and he made a note to buy her something nice later, and maybe get some flowers ordered._

_When they got home she had exploded and he had been stunned by her almost irrational anger. She screamed at him, told him that, _‘no way were they having dirty animals in this beautiful house’_. He’d put his hands out to placate her, and she’d grabbed his wrists and tugged hard, her nails digging in tight. He hadn’t even been aware that he was bleeding until he felt the liquid pouring over his wrists and down his arm. He’d thought it was an accident, because how could it not be? It was only when she kept her hands wrapped tight around his wrists, nails sinking constantly into his flesh that he started to feel uneasy. God knows he was a big guy, over a foot taller than his wife and well-muscled through training, playing football and swimming. He knew it would be easy to push her off, to push her away but he wasn’t that kind of man. If he used his full strength he’d hurt her, and he didn’t want to. He wasn’t a bully and he thought he loved her. Shit, he certainly loved her too much to injure her._

That had been the start of it.

****

 

Jensen sat in his apartment; the light was off but the darkness was welcome. He couldn’t quite comprehend what Jared had told him even though he had no doubt that every word was true. Domestic violence; he’d come across it in his line of work, of course he had – but never like this. It had always been a cowed woman bullied by her partner. He’d had his fair share of bruised and battered wives, he’d seen first-hand the injuries that one human being could inflict upon another, and it’d horrified him. However, the worst of it had been the fact that the _injured_ partner stayed. They stayed with the person who was hurting them, they seemed blinkered to it, ashamed and embarrassed as if, somehow, it was their fault. Jensen wasn’t really qualified enough to deal with it and, in a lot of cases, he’d wanted to call the cops. He never had though; instead he’d encouraged the women to leave their abusive spouses. There were shelters and other organizations that could and did help, and Jensen had gained some satisfaction in thinking he might actually have saved a life.

 

He couldn’t send Jared to a shelter; that realization was quickly followed by a sense of utter and complete desolation. Jared had told him about that first time, but he’d not said another word. Try as he might Jensen was finding it hard to imagine the skinny and slight figure of Alice pushing her husband down a flight of stairs or through a glass window. Sure, he hadn’t been overly impressed by what he’d seen. Alice appeared to be _queen bitch_ but she always appeared controlled and sophisticated, and well turned out. How could she be the cause of all this? It was almost impossible to comprehend and yet . . . yet, this was why Jared had never told anyone before, never confessed. 

Jensen didn’t know where to start; he’d made a tentative appointment with Jared, rang Kim and told her to make sure the younger man came to his office when he was out of hospital. He didn’t tell Kim what Jared had admitted, and didn’t give her any further information. Hell, she already suspected that the Padalecki’s were having marital problems but if she actually knew the full extent of what they were, she would commit murder.

He didn’t know how long he sat in the dark, all he knew was that the world kept on turning, and time passed as it should. He couldn’t stop thinking about Jared, couldn’t stop thinking about how much he liked the man, thinking about the fact he shouldn’t get involved, that he should just pass his case onto a more qualified counselor, and just walk away. 

But he couldn’t, and he wouldn’t. He was part of this, and he would never be free until Jared was too.

****

Jared managed to get out of the house on the pretense he was going to his office. He felt tired, and his healing wounds hurt like a bitch, but he was glad to be out of hospital, and glad to be out in the fresh air. Jensen had given him details of his office and where to go, and Jared got into a cab feeling distinctly uneasy and more than a little terrified.

_The first time Alice actually hit him he had been almost too stunned to react at all. They’d been arguing about what bed linen to buy, of all things, and she’d been beyond angry, screaming that ‘she deserved the best’ and that he had ‘more than enough money’ to buy her the Egyptian cotton sheets she so desperately wanted. He didn’t know why he dug his heels in, he hadn’t thought it was THAT important and he wanted her to know that money wasn’t everything, and that they should budget a little even if they didn’t have to. He hadn’t seen the punch coming, only felt it connect with his jaw. For a moment he’d been rocked on his heels, his chin smarting. Alice was smirking at him, almost daring him to react. It would have been so easy then to haul back and give like for like, but his innate sense of duty kept him from reacting, and instead he just stood there like a statue staring at her and rubbing his jaw like an idiot._

_It was after that moment that the floodgates opened; she knew he wasn’t going to retaliate and, as time passed, she knew he wasn’t going to have the courage to tell anyone. Her bullying – and that was the only word for it – became more and more subtle and he found himself giving in to her demands because it was easier, and because it meant she left him alone._.

Jensen paced up and down like a restless cat; he was expecting Jared any minute and he was stupidly nervous. He knew that now Jared was his client he had to keep things strictly professional and he wasn’t sure he could do that, wasn’t sure he could cope.

A nervous tap on the door heralded Jared’s arrival. The younger man looked pale and tired but he was smiling, and he took Jensen’s outstretched hand and shook it vigorously.

“She thinks I’m at work.” Jared sat down heavily on the chair opposite Jensen’s desk. “That’s the only reason I’m able to be here.”

Usually Jensen would have suggested the couple see him together, but he knew it wasn’t an option in this case. He could see the fear lurking behind Jared’s soft eyes and he felt his heart tug painfully.

“It’s okay,” he said and forced a reassuring smile. “We won’t be able to cover everything in one session – you just need to take your time. Tell me what you can and, more importantly, what you want to, and hopefully we can eventually resolve some things.”

“Do you really think you can help me?” Jared’s voice was low, his speech halting. Jensen tried to read his expression and he was alarmed to see that there was embarrassment there.

“I can try.” Jensen wanted honesty to be the best policy. “I can’t promise, but I can try.”

“I’ve . . . no one knows.” Jared rubbed a hand across his stinging eyes. “I didn’t want anyone to know. My dad would be so ashamed of me.”

“Jared. . . .” Jensen knew it wasn’t professional but he didn’t care, he reached across the table and gripped Jared’s hand. He held it tight in his fist, stroked his fingers across battered knuckles. “Why do you think your dad would feel like that?”

“He’s a real Texas man’s man.” Jared’s laugh was weak, and watery. “He was so determined to hide my _gayness_ , to make sure I followed him into the business, and that I married a beautiful girl who’d look fine on my arm. I loved Chris y’know . . . I wanted him. When I first met Alice she was so sweet and nice, that I was sure I’d found someone who would love me and understand me, but I soon discovered it was my platinum card she wanted.”

“But you’ve been married for nearly six years.” Jensen tightened his grip on Jared’s hand. “Has it . . . has it been going on all that time?”

Jared lowered his head and, to his horror, Jensen saw salt tears sparkle on his thick lashes. 

“Pretty much,” Jared said and his breath hitched.

“And in all that time you’ve never retaliated?”

Jared shook his head.

“Never. She’s a woman! I could never hit a woman.”

“But she’s hurting you, Jared.” Jensen realized how pathetic and unhelpful he sounded. 

Jared wiped his eyes and shook his head again.

“It isn’t like that,” he said but his denial was weak.

“Then what is it like?” Jensen finally let go of Jared’s hand. “Do you know that this service deals with domestic violence not only on a daily basis but an hourly one? There are special organizations and shelters set up to help women who have been bullied or hurt by their husbands. You’re not alone in this.”

“Yes I am! These organizations deal with WOMEN! How many of them deal with men? How many men do you know in my position?” His eyes met Jensen’s resigned, and sad. “I don’t know what to do,” he continued as his hitching breaths turned to audible sobs. “I’ve allowed myself to get into this situation, and I don’t know how to get out of it.”

“You could just leave her.” Jensen pretended to make notes. “Have you ever thought of that?”

“Everyone who knows her, thinks she is perfect,” Jared swallowed. “She’s beautiful, intelligent and sparky. Look at the size of her. How could I convince anyone that she was the one who was hurting me? At the hospital I had to take test after test so that they could determine both my physical and mental state. They gave me bottles of pills, and they gave me counseling. They couldn’t find anything physical to account for the _accidents_ , so they think I’m suicidal and that _I keep hurting myself_. He laughed wetly. “She comes in and sits by my bed, and is all soft and tender. She pays for my private room and care on her own credit card. My mom goes shopping with her, and she babysits for my brother’s kids. My family think she has _cured_ my gayness, and to them she’s a veritable saint.”

“Do you love her? Did you love her?”

“I don’t know,” he said and shook his head. “I just wanted to be _normal_ , whatever that means.”

“And you think what you have now is normal?” 

“No.” Jared shook his head and buried his face into his hands. “Of course not.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being gay, Jared,” Jensen’s voice was soft and he knew he shouldn’t even be going there, but he couldn’t help it. “Take it from me.”

Hazel eyes met his and Jensen saw the realization there; realization but nothing else. There was no recrimination in Jared’s gaze, just an innate understanding.

“You’re gay?” he asked, finally.

“Yeah, came out years ago. My family didn’t like it, but they had to accept it. We’ve had some run-ins and, like you, they wanted me to find a _nice girl_ who would _cure me_. There isn’t a cure, Jared. I like men and that’s about the size of it.”

“I like men too,” his voice was so low it was almost inaudible. “And I know my marriage was a mistake. Alice knew it too. I think she realized early on, she was only second best. It’s my fault we’ve come to this.” He looked up at Jensen with liquid eyes. “It’s all my fault.”

Jensen knew that most victims, particularly those who were hurt by a partner or spouse, blamed themselves. He also knew that it wasn’t right, and that Jared was looking for excuses for his wife’s behavior. 

“It’s not your fault, Jared. You are the victim here, and as hard as it is to accept, only you can change it.”

“How?” And there it was, a cry for help, and one that Jensen needed to answer. 

“You need to leave,” Jensen said, gently. “You need to take control of your life again.”

“I-I can’t leave . . . where would I go? If I left then everyone would know. No one would believe me and even if they did my dad would say I was a _fucking coward_ for letting a woman get the better of me.”

“If your dad loves you he won’t think like that.”

“You don’t know my dad! He thinks he has been gracious enough to forgive me for my temporary gayness,” Jared said and laughed bitterly. “I doubt that he’d forgive me for letting a woman beat me.” He buried his head in his hands. “She did something every fucking day,” he ground out and it was the first time Jensen had even heard him swear. “Every day there’s something she _wants_ or _needs_ and if I even dare to say no . . . she . . . most of the time it’s her nails. . . .” He lifted his head for a moment and Jensen stared into desperate eyes. “She keeps them long for that reason. She digs them in and draws blood. Sometimes she just slaps me. I don’t know when it started to get worse. I got weak, I guess, and she took advantage of that and started to push me around. I don’t recall much, but I think she pushed me down the stairs,” his breath hitched. “I’m gonna’ end up in a psyche ward.”

“Jared, not many people are in your position. I know you don’t think it right now, but you are more fortunate than most. You have money, and I don’t mean to sound shallow or be flippant about this but money could be the key to your escape.” He took Jared’s hands away from his face and held them in his own. “You could rent somewhere safe to stay while you think about your next move.”

“She’d find me,” there was genuine fear in Jared’s tone. “I can’t hide from her.”

“You’re not alone in this.” Jensen held those big hands tightly and wondered how someone so big and so strong could be so frightened. “I swear.”

“Then why do I feel so fucking isolated?” Jared was openly sobbing and Jensen felt like a failure.

“It’s natural and it’s normal,” Jensen tried to sound reassuring but he wasn’t sure it was working. He hated seeing Jared so distressed and he wondered, briefly, how he had become so involved so fast, nor could he believe what he was about to suggest. “I have a big apartment . . . there’s enough room for a camp bed in the lounge.” He shouldn’t and it was wrong, and it could very well jeopardize everything he’d worked for, but he couldn’t help himself. Jared needed help and Jensen – Jensen wanted to be the person to help him.

“I could stay with you?” It was Jared’s wavering hope that broke him. “Wouldn’t that be . . . ? I mean if you are my counselor.”

Jared was right of course but Jensen wouldn’t withdraw his offer now. There were ways around it, there had to be, and even if it was totally unethical Jensen couldn’t bring himself to care.

“We’ll sort it out.” Jensen was still holding Jared’s hands and he couldn’t let go. “I promise.”

“I know it’s a lot to ask but … will … will you come home with me, while I get my things?” Jared’s eyes were bright with hope rather than tears. “I-I don’t want to go there alone.”

“Sure.” Jensen squeezed the hands in his and prayed that he was doing the right thing. “Let’s go now. When we get back home we can regroup, and decide what our next steps are going to be.”

“Thanks.” Jared had stopped crying and he looked more determined than ever. “Really, thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet,” Jensen wanted to be honest. “There’s still a mountain to climb.”

“Yeah.” A hesitant smile brought dimples and Jensen knew he was lost. “But at least I’m not climbing it alone anymore.”

****

Jared’s house was huge; Jensen licked dry lips as they drew up to the front of the building and he glanced at Jared trying to read his expression. Jared looked pale and his mouth was turned down, and his eyes damp. He got out of Jensen’s car and fumbled in his pockets for his keys. Jensen stared at the veritable palace in front of him with some awe. 

“This is some place,” he said to Jared as they walked up to the front door.

“Alice picked it.” Jared appeared distracted. “It hasn’t ever really been home to me. I wanted to live further away from the city, y’know. I wanted to keep animals. But Alice wanted to be near her favorite stores and restaurants.” He shrugged. “I guess I seem weak to you.”

“Not at all.” Jensen abhorred bullies, always had. “I could never think that of you, Jared.”

He watched as the younger man scrabbled with his key and, finally, opened the door. Their steps echoed in the cavernous hall and Jensen found himself looking around in some sort of awe. 

The house was tastefully decorated and scrupulously clean; from what Jensen could see, all the rooms were furnished and everything looked expensive. The whole place smelled of polish, and it was almost as if no one lived there. Jensen found it hard to equate this cold, impersonal place with Jared and he moved closer to the other man unable to stop putting a hand protectively on the small of his back, an unconscious gesture of support.

He followed Jared up the stairs feeling a little uneasy; he didn’t want to seem like some sort of creepy stalker but he didn’t want to leave Jared alone right now. There was no sign of Alice, and he wondered where she might be. Jared seemed eager to be done and out of there, and he watched as Jared entered one of the massive bedrooms and opened the walk in closet. He began to stuff clothing into a sports bag, shirts, jeans and t-shirts all shoved in carelessly, and without much thought.

“Hey.” Jensen sat on the bed feeling uncomfortable. The room was painted white and was more like a hospital ward than a bedroom. There was a book on the nightstand and a magazine about dogs lying on the pillow. Apart from that there was nothing to indicate anyone slept there, let alone Jared. “There’s no hurry.”

“I want to be out of here before she gets back,” Jared said and shot him a panicked glance. “I don’t want to be bothered with this right now. Please, let’s just pack up and go.”

“Sure.” Jensen smoothed his fingers across the soft cotton of the sheets. “Is this your room?”

“Yeah.” There was a pink flush along Jared’s high-boned cheeks. “We have separate rooms.”

“Separate rooms?” So many thoughts went through Jensen’s head but he didn’t dare put them into words. Jared must have read his expression because the flush deepened and he rubbed his hands across his face.

“We haven’t slept together for a while.”

“How long is a while?” Jensen knew he shouldn’t ask but he couldn’t help himself.

“A long time.” Jared zipped up his bag and hauled it onto his shoulder. “Can we go now?” He sounded like a lost child and Jensen nodded, oddly relieved when they were out of the house and back in his car. As he pulled away he noted the double garage with two shiny sports cars parked outside. He wasn’t an expert on cars but he recognized one as the latest model, and he winced as he read the number plate **Alice 14**.

“She insisted on having it,” Jared sounded almost ashamed. “It was easier to indulge her and let her have her own way.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I know how all of this sounds,” he whispered.

“I told you earlier that we’ll sort it out, and I promise that we will.” Jensen squeezed Jared’s thigh. “All you have to do now is stop feeling so damn guilty. You’re the victim here, Jared not the perpetrator, and none of this is your fault.”

“I don’t know how we came to this,” Jared sounded close to tears again. “How did my life get so fucking bad?”

“We’ll make it better.” Jensen hoped upon hope he wasn’t making a promise he couldn’t keep. 

Jared turned to look at him then, and he looked at Jensen as if he had hung the moon. Jensen’s stomach clenched and he felt his heart stutter in his chest. Already he was too close to this and he knew he was risking everything, but he had gone too far to turn back now.

****

Jared settled down on Jensen’s old camp bed and stared into the darkness. It was warm and cozy in Jensen’s apartment and he could smell the unfamiliar scent of cooking. They had eaten hot dogs earlier, and it had been one of the best meals he’d had in forever. Jensen’s place was small but homey, with a big squashy couch and cushions thrown haphazardly all over the place. There were photographs, not paintings, on the unevenly painted walls, and the kitchen was a mess. Dishes were piled up in the sink, and there were smears of ketchup on the black marble surfaces. Jensen had piles of text books, and a laptop resting on an old wooden table that looked as if it had come from goodwill. Jared had felt at home there almost instantly, and he felt himself relax for the first time in, what seemed like, years. He still ached all over, and he still felt sore from all the cuts and lacerations he’d received when he’d _fallen_ through the window. He shuddered and turned, pressing his face into the soft pillow Jensen had given him. It smelled like cheap fabric conditioner, and he hugged it against his cheek for comfort.

Alice would be home by now he figured, and it wouldn’t take her long to realize that he wasn’t coming home. He knew she was going to be angry, and he knew that she wouldn’t take it lying down. He sighed and buried his face deeper. He should have put a stop to this year’s ago, he should have been stronger. He knew his dad would be mad but, for once, he couldn’t bring himself to care. He felt a sudden and wild freedom, and he knew that he only had Jensen to thank.

_He couldn’t remember when it all went from subtle bullying to something more sinister, something almost life-threatening and dangerous. He’d given into every single demand she made. He went out with her, and socialized with her friends. He let her throw parties at the house, and invited people he barely knew. He bought her clothing, and gave her her own platinum card. Despite this she never seemed to be happy. She always wanted more. She always wanted the best of everything. He found himself increasingly isolated, and spent more and more time at work where, at least, he could do what he wanted without question._

_When he’d woken up in hospital after _falling_ down the stairs, he’d wondered if she was actually trying to kill him. He hadn’t made a will. Hell, he was only thirty-two, but everything he had would probably go to Alice eventually. She’d turned up at the hospital and made a big show of paying for a private room, and the nurses had declared that she was sweet and so much in love with him. He knew then that no one would ever believe him if he actually came clean. He had very few friends of his own – Kim and Steve maybe – and Alice had managed to fool everyone. He was more alone than he had ever been and he couldn’t conceivably see a way out of this._

He woke up to the smell of bacon and, to his surprise, his stomach rumbled. He felt as if he hadn’t eaten normally since he’d had chili at Kim’s, and he was shocked to find he had an appetite and that he was actually hungry.

Jensen was in the kitchen flipping pancakes. He wore a scruffy old robe and his feet were bare. Jared stood for a moment just staring. Jensen looked relaxed, comfortable, and happy in his own skin. Jared wished he could be like that. He wished he could get his own identity back. 

“Do you feel up to eating?” Jensen filled up a plate and Jared found himself nodding. “I thought, after breakfast, we could go visit a friend of mine. Um – he’s a lawyer.”

“Yeah, I’m starving.” Jared sat at the rickety old table and let Jensen serve him. Everything was fresh and cooked to perfection, and he ate eagerly, hungry for the first time in a long time. “I’ve actually got an appetite,” he said and found himself grinning. “And I slept pretty well.”

“Good.” Jensen topped up his plate. “And the lawyer, do you want to see him?”

“Do you think I need to?” It was a foolish question, naïve really, and Jared watched for Jensen’s reaction. 

“I’m guessing you might.” Jensen sat down opposite him, expression serious. “You need to put a stop to all of this, Jared. The only way to do that is to end your marriage. I know it’s fucking scary and, usually, as a counselor I wouldn’t recommend it, but you know and I know that your marriage isn’t working on any level, and you can’t continue on like this.”

“We’re talking divorce?” It was a reality check pure and simple. “Aren’t we?”

“Yeah, I guess we are. Jared, regardless of anything, what she’s doing is against the law. Ultimately, you could and should report her.”

“I wouldn’t wanna’ do anything like that,” he said and tried to ramp down his own panic. “I-I don’t wanna’ draw any attention to myself, or to her. I want to get this over without any fuss.”

“You do realize she isn’t going to go quietly.” Jensen had, unfortunately, seen it all before. Marriages where one partner wanted out, but the other didn’t. He had no doubt that Alice would deny any _wrong doing_. She certainly wouldn’t want to lose her _source of income_ , and he was certain she was going to cling tenaciously to this marriage for as long as she could.

“What you’re saying is that there isn’t going to be an easy way out of this.” Jared swallowed down the last of his food and pushed away his plate. There was a lump in his throat, and he felt a sharp tingle of fear as he realized that things weren’t going to be easy.

“Why don’t we just go and see my friend, Danneel. She’s pretty sharp.”

“I’ll have to tell her everything, won’t I?” Jared’s heart ached and he could feel the foolish sting of tears in his eyes and, fuck, he was tired of crying.

“Tell her whatever you feel comfortable with, but tell her something.” Jensen leaned forward and gripped his wrist, a gesture of comfort he had used a lot lately with the man. “Then you can at least make some sort of decision, and move forward in some way.”

“Okay, we’ll go see her.” Jared glanced at the laptop and books. “I don’t want to keep you from your studies or work, you’ve already done so much for me.”

“No problems, Jared,” Jensen seemed honest in his reply and Jared could see the concern in his green eyes. He felt his heart lift a little, and he realized how lucky he was to have found Jensen, and to have found someone who believed him and who wanted to help him. “Let’s get cleaned up, and go from there. This is the first day of the rest of your life.”

“The rest of my life.” Jared smiled. “I like the sound of that.”

****  
Danneel Harris did not look like a typical lawyer. She was a tall, willowy redhead dressed in a low cut blouse and a tight business skirt. She sat on the edge of her desk swinging her long legs and Jensen could see that she was attempting to look non-threatening. 

Danneel had been one of the _nice girls_ his parents had thrown at him in an attempt to _cure_ him of the gay. She had known from the start that there was no hope for her but, despite that, they had become really good friends and she had always been on hand to help when Jensen’s clients had decided to make a clean break rather than continue with their marriage. Now she got to her feet and shook Jared’s hand all professional and soft voiced, offering coffee and cookies, pretending that she didn’t already know the full story. 

“So, Jared.” she touched his hand gently. “Jensen tells me you might need my help.”

Um . . . .” Jensen felt sympathy for the younger man, and watched as his cheeks turned pink. “I guess.”

“You don’t have to tell me anything, or you can tell me everything. Whatever is said in this room is entirely confidential.” Danneel was smooth, Jensen had to give her that much. “What I do guarantee, is that I can help you.”

“Can you?” Jared glanced across at her, eyes dark with guilt and fear. Jensen knew how deep Jared’s wounds went, wounds that weren’t just physical but mental too. He wished he could get his hands around Alice’s throat, and wished he could shake her until she begged for mercy. He wondered if she knew how lucky she was, lucky because Jared refused to retaliate.

“Yes,” Danneel said and nodded. “Trust me, I can.” She smiled reassuringly. “Now talk to me.”

And out it came, the sad story of Jared’s marriage and the almost constant bullying and abuse. If Danneel was shocked she was too professional to show it, and she sat silently with her pad taking the occasional note and only glancing at Jensen once or twice obviously trying to read his reaction, trying to gage what his relationship with Jared was. After Jared had finished he looked pale and exhausted, and Danneel looked a little stunned, her pad on her knee, her fingers playing convulsively with her pen.

“You have enough grounds for divorce right here.” She gestured to the pad. “And, from what you’ve told me, money is no object, right?”

“I guess.” Jared rubbed his hands across his face. “I’m not sure I want a divorce. I mean it’ll be so damn public, and she’ll make sure that it is.”

“Does that really matter?” Danneel shook her head and glanced at Jensen with pleading eyes. “At the end of the day would you rather be dragged through the dirt for a few days than live like this for the rest of your life?”

Jared was silent and Danneel scribbled something on her pad.

“Was there a prenuptial agreement?” She asked, finally.

“No,” Jared sighed. “Nothing like that.”

“And the marriage was consummated?” The question echoed silently, and even Jensen felt himself flushing at that. Jared looked up then and he nodded.

“We slept together on our honeymoon, but not since. She moved into separate rooms as soon as we got home, and I didn’t want to push things. Sex wasn’t . . . ,” he paused and flushed pink again. “Sex wasn’t great,” he confessed. “My fault, I guess.”

“I think that we have already decided none of this is your fault,” Danneel said. “I’m not being harsh here, but you need to get out of this relationship now. Forgive me for being frank, but it is killing you.”

Jared closed his eyes and Jensen went over to him wrapping his arms tight around those broad shoulders. He had gone way beyond professional now, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He had offered Jared help, and he would continue to give him help, but now he knew he wanted something more, something he knew he couldn’t really ask for, something he wasn’t even sure Jared was ready for.

“Come on,” he whispered, rocking the younger man back and forth, ignoring Danneel’s concerned glances, ignoring everything but Jared’s hitching breath, the shaking of his shoulders, and his soft sobs. “Let it out, Jared. Let it all out.”

And he held on tightly until the storm passed.

****

“What you need is a vacation.” It came to him like a bolt out of the blue. “Some downtime, and some thinking time. Shit, nobody could deny you that.”

Jared was perched on his couch looking like someone close to death; his hair was lank and greasy and his skin was milk white. It was an hour since they’d left Danneel’s office and he hadn’t said a word.

“A vacation?” Jared’s voice sounded rough, unused. He glanced at Jensen for a moment and then looked back at his hands. “Away from here?”

“That’s about the size of it.” Jensen came and sat next to him, “You’ve been in hospital twice in as many months and you’ve certainly had a lot of stress.”

Jared swallowed.

“I have to work,” he said and shifted listlessly.

“No Jared, you don’t. You said yourself that your dad wanted you to rest a little, and you know damn well your family are worried about you.”

“I guess,” there was a dawning hope in Jared’s tone. “I haven’t been on vacation since my honeymoon. Alice liked to go on spa weekends, but always with her friends never with me. She used to say, _if I wanted to be a success then hard work was the way forward, and hard workers didn’t go on vacation_.” He risked another glance in Jensen’s direction and he shrugged his shoulders. “Everything I say makes me seem weaker than ever,” his sentence ended on a sigh. “God knows what you must think of me.”

“I don’t think anything of you, Jared.” Jensen risked patting the other man’s arm. He was tired. Tired of Jared’s constant self-blame. Fuck knows the guy had been through the mill but it was time for a change. It was time for Alice to get what was coming to her. But what I do think is that you really, really need a vacation of sorts. You’ve got some decisions to make, and when you make them what follows is not going to be pretty or easy. If you decide on divorce then you are going to have to come clean to your parents and your friends about the reasons why. You might have to face Alice in court, and that isn’t gonna be a walk in the park. She’s likely to deny your accusations, and to challenge what you say. You need to be in the right frame of mind.”

Jared swallowed and stared at him.

“You’re right,” he admitted. “And you’re right about taking a break too. I’m not needed a work, and my mom calls me constantly worrying about my health. I could use a vacation.” He bit his lip. “Would you . . . it’s a lot to ask, but would you come with me?”

Jensen knew that question was coming; it was inevitable. He also knew what his answer would be. His finals were coming up and he had his shifts at the hospital. He couldn’t really afford to take time off, but he was going to. There was no way he could say no to Jared now. He’d started this thing and he was going to see it through.

“Yeah,” he said and nodded. “I could do that.”

“There’s no need to worry about money.” Jared smiled then, a genuine smile that reached his eyes. “We could go wherever you want.”

“No.” He shook his head. “It’s not about what I want, Jared, it’s about what you want.”

“I want to go somewhere hot,” Jared replied and it looked like the first decision Jared had made in a long time. “Somewhere quiet,” he added. “I love swimming,” he said and his eyes were alight with a sudden passion. “And the beach.”

“Okay,” Jensen found himself laughing as he answered. “We should maybe go to the travel agents and find your ideal destination. I can spare a week or two.”

“Really?” There was real joy in Jared’s smile and Jensen knew he’d made the right decision. “That sounds . . . .” He grinned delightedly. “It sounds like heaven,” he concluded.

They booked a small beach house in Clearwater right on the edge of the ocean. In the brochure the sand looked soft and golden, the sun so bright it reflected like yellow jewels on the water. Jensen packed his books alongside his trunks and he tried not to feel worried or remorseful at the fact he was going, and he spent an hour on the phone to Misha trying to assuage his guilt.

“Let’s face it Jensen,” the other man sounded amused. “You’re in as deep as you can go. No question you are falling for the guy,” his tone became more serious. “Just be careful, okay? He’s vulnerable and he needs gentle handling. You might not get what you want, and I don’t want to have to mend any broken hearts.”

“I know what I’m doing,” it was said with a confidence he didn’t feel. “It’ll be fine.”

“Yeah,” Misha grunted. “I can see that.”

Jensen put the phone down and stared into space. Misha was right, he did want more from Jared than Jared would be able to give him. Much more than that, he wanted to see Jared happy and he wanted to be the one to make Jared happy. He tried to imagine what it would be like to live ten years of your life in fear, and he wished he could change things.

They flew out on a Sunday evening; already Jared looked better, he had some color in his cheeks and his eyes were bright. Jensen knew he’d been uneasy about Alice finding him, but he’d reassured Jared that there wasn’t much chance of that. No-one knew where they were, and no-one knew where they were going. Jared had told his mom and dad that he was taking a much needed vacation, and they’d been happy for him. The only dodgy moment happened to be when they’d asked about Alice, and Jensen had watched Jared’s hopeful expression morph into something terrible. In the end, though, Jared had told them that he was going alone and, in an unexpected burst of honesty, that his marriage wasn’t quite as idyllic as it may have seemed. His parents appeared to have accepted that, but Jared hadn’t mentioned where he was going just in case they decided to _‘tell all’_.

When they reached their destination it was dark but still warm and Jensen stood on the sand for a moment watching the stars. Jared was silent again but he sensed that it was a _good kind_ of silence, and he smiled into the night as his shoulder brushed Jared’s and they just lingered there for a while listening to the water wash on the sand.

Jensen woke to bright sunshine, he rolled over to check his watch and was astonished to find he’d slept for almost ten hours. It was 10am and he felt stupidly refreshed even though his stomach was grumbling with hunger. He got out of bed and stretched out his limbs. Out of the window he could see blue sky and an even bluer sea. The beach was deserted and he couldn’t help but smile realizing that it had been a long time since HIS last vacation. 

The beach house was fantastic. He’d never stayed anywhere quite like it and he could certainly get used to this kind of accommodation. It was spacious and clean with two good sized bedrooms, both with on-suites. There was also a family sized bathroom, a fitted and well stocked kitchen and a large lounge that had the latest technology, including a huge TV and DVD player and an X Box with a good supply of games. There was a wooden case full of books and board games, and enough glossy magazines to keep them amused for a month let alone two weeks. Jensen showered quickly and pulled on a pair of old cargo shorts then he went into the kitchen and immediately panicked.

There was no sign of Jared. He wasn’t in his own bedroom or the on-suite, the sitting room or even on the patio. Jensen threw open the doors and walked down onto the beach, his eyes scanning nothing but the empty sand, and the distant horizon. For a moment his throat was so dry he couldn’t even shout. Surely Jared hadn’t done anything stupid, not now, not when things seemed to be going the right way.

All of a sudden he heard a splash and he looked out to sea. Someone was swimming in the ocean, their strokes strong and sure. Jensen paused for a moment and squinted against the sun, his legs going weak with relief when he realized that the swimmer was Jared. The younger man must have seen him because he paused for a moment and waved, and headed back to shore. Jensen watched impressed as he came closer and, finally, rose up and strode out of the water, shaking his long hair like a dog, droplets flying everywhere.

“You scared me,” Jensen’s fear came out of him in a rush and Jared looked a little guilty.

“I’m sorry,” he said, flopping down onto the sand and gesturing Jensen join him. “I wanted to go for an early morning swim.”

“You’re good.” Jensen lowered himself down beside Jared. “I’ve not swum for years, but I’ve never been particularly brilliant at it.”

“I love swimming.” Jared rubbed a hand through his hair. “I used to swim for my college team, and I’ve never stopped.” He flushed a little and bit his lip. “It’s something I never let Alice spoil. I would go during my lunch hour at work, so she never knew I’d kept it up.”

“Good for you.” Jensen felt hot and bothered and he looked at the sea longingly. “How’s the water?”

“It’s good; not too cold or too hot.” Jared got to his feet and offered Jensen a hand. “Why don’t you join me?”

Jensen didn’t need asking twice, he let Jared pull him down to the water’s edge and found himself plunging in. He didn’t go very far or very deep but he floundered around in the spray for, what seemed like, hours until the grumbling of his stomach told him he was hungry and ready for some brunch.

Jensen cooked steaks over the grill, and Jared offered to make a salad. It was oddly domestic and they sat down together to eat, neither of them talking but both of them happy in their silence. After brunch they went back out onto the beach and just spent the day lying around or, in Jared’s case at least, swimming. Jensen watched the younger man visibly relax as the day went on and he realized that he’d done the right thing, whatever the consequences.

 

They quickly fell into a daily routine; Jared got up early to swim then made breakfast for both of them. After breakfast Jensen would take a couple of beach chairs out onto the sand and read while Jared swam or slept. As the days passed they both started to tan, and Jared looked healthier than he had in a while.

Day five was when the dog appeared. It was small and skinny, a terrier Jensen guessed, looking underfed and scared. It crept up to the beach hut with its tiny, stumpy tail between its legs, looking longingly inside. Predictably Jared opened the door and coaxed the creature inside, kneeling down as low as he could go and scratching the trembling dog behind its ears, whispering to it in a soft encouraging voice and feeding it hot dog sausages and crackers. 

The dog soon became a regular part of their routine. It took to Jared, trusting and fond, following him everywhere. It even started to join him in the ocean, and Jensen found himself sitting on one of the chairs watching them swim together, a warmth in his chest that he couldn’t deny. They never saw another human soul, and it suited him and it certainly suited Jared. He was no longer pale, his skin tanning a golden brown, the bruises and lacerations on his skin fading away, the shadows beneath his eyes vanishing as he got eight hours sleep a night the dog snuggled by his side.

They didn’t talk much, but they were comfortable with each other. At night they drank soda and played board games, giggling like children when they couldn’t follow the rules. When they did talk it was about unimportant random things - about what the dog might eat, and whether the Cowboys might win the Super bowl. By the end of week one they had eaten nearly everything in the kitchen and they decided to go into the nearest town and buy some supplies. Jensen suggested they get some beer and Jared agreed.

“It’s a while since I had any beer,” he mused. “Alice . . . ,” and it was the first time he’d said that name in a while. “. . . Liked wine. She said beer was a poor man’s drink, and not suitable for someone of our status.” His eyes met Jensen’s for a moment and Jensen wished he could take away the hurt there. This vacation was wonderful but it wasn’t going to last forever. When they got home they had a hell of a lot to deal with, and no amount of hiding away was going to change things.

“Well I’m a poor man, and I want some beer!” Jensen slapped Jared affectionately on the shoulder. “Let’s get as much as we can carry.”

Jared nodded and regained his smile again, dimples deep in tanned cheeks.

“Yeah,” he said. “Beer is definitely on the menu.”

****

He hadn’t, consciously, wanted to get Jared drunk. It was clear that the guy hadn’t been a heavy drinker for some time, if ever, because after three cans he was flushed and grinning, leaning further into Jensen than was really necessary.

“Y’know,” he slurred. “I’m kinda’ drunk, and you . . . you are kinda’ pretty.”

“What?” Jensen turned and tried to shuffle away from Jared’s lurching form. He had promised himself he would try and keep his distance, and treat Jared as a friend and nothing more. He had been attracted to the guy from the first moment he’d seen him, but this wasn’t a good idea and he hoped Jared realized that he wasn’t exactly rejecting him. “I’m not pretty,” he tried to keep his voice light. “That’s definitely the booze talking.”

“Nah.” Jared’s cheeks were flushed and those exotic eyes were bright. “Not the booze. You’re so pretty, Jensen. Your mouth . . . .” Jared leaned in again and grabbed Jensen’s shoulders surprisingly hard. “Your mouth is just so -” He licked his lips clumsily and, before Jensen could even move or protest, he leaned in and kissed Jensen. For a moment Jensen let the kiss deepen and hold; it was messy and inexperienced but it was innately sweet, and the _bad_ part of him didn’t want it to stop. Jared made a noise that was part whine, part moan and Jensen felt his cock start to perk up and take interest.

“Hey.” He managed to pull his mouth away and get Jared at a more respectable distance. The younger man was smiling and he looked adorably rumpled and sleepy. “I think you need to go to bed there, sparky.” He forced a laugh. “That dog of yours will be getting lonely.”

 

Jared nodded and let Jensen help lift him to his feet. One or two staggers later and Jensen was depositing Jared on his bed watching as the younger man sighed and rolled onto his front hugging the pillow furiously.

Jensen watched him sleep for a while until he felt too much of a creeper. He went into the lounge and slumped down on the couch, his fingers automatically dialing Misha’s number, hoping that he didn’t get his friend out of bed.

“Hey,” Misha sounded sleepy. “Where’s the fire?”

“God, Misha. This is going way beyond professional right now. I-I . . . the way I feel about him, I just can’t be his counselor any longer. He . . . we . . . I want him, Misha and I don’t know what to do.”

“Well, firstly you have to find someone else to help him professionally. Secondly you have to get back to your studies. You’ve worked too hard for too long, and you deserve to pass and become a _real_ guidance counselor.”

“You’re right. I know you’re right, but I can’t just abandon him.”

“Jensen, dude – breathe,” Misha’s voice was calm and gentle. “I know you’re fond of the guy, but this is moving way too fast. Don’t you think? Hell, you hardly know anything about him. I know you feel sorry for him, but you shouldn’t mistake sympathy for something else.”

“I’m not.” Of that Jensen was certain. “I mean I do feel sorry for him, but there’s so much more to it than that. He’s so sweet, so modest and gentle. He loves dogs and swimming, and he’s great in the kitchen. Shit, I wish I’d met him years ago. I wish I’d met him before he married that bitch of a wife.”

“I know what you think, Jensen but you don’t know the whole story. You’ve only got his side to it, What if . . . what if there’s things he isn’t telling you?”

“Like what? You think he’s lying? Cause he isn’t! Shit, Misha you’ve see him. You’ve been at the hospital when he’d been fucking wheeled in.”

“You’re right,” Misha sounded more than a little mortified. “I guess I’m just worried about you. You’re my friend, Jensen and the last thing I want is to see you hurt.”

“I’m a big boy, Misha.” Jensen knew his protests would come across as feeble. Deep down he knew Misha had a point. He didn’t want to get hurt either, but he had come too far to back out now. Jared was already an integral part of his life, like it or not.

“I know you are.” Misha yawned and Jensen laughed weakly. “Keep in touch, dude. Oh, and Jensen . . . enjoy the rest of your vacation. Just try and keep the boy at arm’s length, okay? Neither of you need too many complications.”

“Go to bed.” Jensen’s own eyes were stinging. “Sorry for waking you.”

“No problems, I’m always here for you, Jen and for your boy too,” Misha said and laughed through another yawn. “Now take your own advice and get some sleep. Things will be brighter in the morning.”

***

 

Jensen prayed that Jared didn’t remember much; the younger man was up early as usual and had gone out for his swim before Jensen had even surfaced. It was another beautiful day and Jensen took his breakfast outside squinting against the sun as he looked for Jared in the water.

Neither of them mentioned the previous night, and Jensen was both disappointed and relieved. He was certain he wanted a relationship with Jared, but he also knew that Jared needed to get out of his marriage before he could even think of being with anyone else. 

They were due to return in a couple of days and everything felt a little flat. They sat on the sand with the dog between them, Jared scratching at his furry ears. They’d gone into town and tried to find the dog’s owner but after a fruitless search it seemed he was a genuine stray. Jensen knew that Jared didn’t want to leave the dog behind but there was a lot of paperwork to fill in before they could officially take him home, and much to her disgust he’d got Danneel working on the legal ramifications as well as trying to sort out a passport for the creature. Jensen had refused to let Jared name him until everything was done and dusted.

He was dozing when his cell buzzed insistently waking him out of his funk. Danneel’s number was on the screen and, hoping for good news about the dog, he pressed to answer the call.

“Hey.” He glanced at Jared whose eyes were closed, chin lolling on his chest. “Tell me something awesome.”

“I’m sorry but I can’t,” her voice sounded off, clipped and almost over professional. “Jensen, you need to get to a computer. You need to see this.”

“What?” He felt his heart sink in his chest and nausea rose in his throat. “Has something happened?”

“You could say that,” Danneel’s voice rose a little. “The wife has gone public.”

“I don’t understand,” Jensen said and rubbed at his face. “What do you mean?”

“You need to get back here as soon as you can . . . both of you. I know you are fond of the guy, Jensen but shit – this is a hell of a mess you’ve got yourself in.”

“Danneel talk to me.”

“Get on the internet,” she snapped. “That will be explanation enough.”

Jensen left Jared dozing on the sand. He wanted to find out what had gotten Danneel’s panties into a twist before he faced Jared with it. He had an awful feeling that he wasn’t going to like what he saw.

The beach house had a pretty swish laptop; neither of them had used it, happy to be away from the world and its problems but now Jensen logged on and typed Alice’s name into the search engine. Danneel hadn’t given him many clues but he had an inkling that everything started with her. 

**Wife of Missing Millionaire Tells All** the headline read and Jensen clicked on it reluctantly, his stomach churning. There was a picture of Alice outside Jared’s beautiful house. She was wearing a brown fur coat and soft leather boots, her face free of make-up, pale and wan. There was a bruise around her left eye, and another on her right cheek. Jensen could hear his own heart thundering and he let his eyes scroll down the page unable to believe what he was reading.

_Alice Padalecki has been looking for her estranged husband since he disappeared over three weeks ago. She was reluctant to involve the law, but now she feels obliged to tell her story. It is believed that her husband, Jared - son of restaurant owner and multi-millionaire, Gerald - has fled the state. Alice explained, tearfully, that she fears he will not return to her, and the full sad story of their ailing marriage was revealed._

_Domestic violence is a terrible thing and something we cannot condone. Alice has told us, reluctantly, of the constant violence perpetrated by her husband. She showed us the marks of her husband’s recent attack, and said that she had been unwilling to get the police involved as she loves her husband and just wants him back._

Jensen stared at the screen unable to read any further. He fumbled for his cell and called Danneel’s number hoping she might have answers for him. He couldn’t comprehend what was happening. Alice was accusing Jared of hurting her, she had gone to the fucking press and to the cops and it looked like the bastards believed her. He could hear the tinny ringing in his ears, and he leaned against the table, mouth as dry as dust. He hoped and prayed that there was a way out of this because he was certain that Jared wouldn’t be able to cope, and he feared for his health and his sanity.

****

Danneel’s instructions had been clear; get back home as soon as possible and she would try to limit the damage. Jensen woke up a dazed Jared and got him ready, shoving clothes into suitcases and sorting out passports. Deep down he knew as soon as they got back home the shit would hit the proverbial fan.

Jared was silent; they took the dog to a local shelter promising that they would be back but Jensen was sure it was a hollow promise. Neither of them spoke much, he’d shown Jared the internet report and the younger man had stared at it for a long time, his silence telling. He had no idea what was going to happen next, but he was well aware that it wasn’t going to be pleasant.

Ironically, Jared looked better than he had in a long while; his injuries were healing and his skin was tanned and healthy. It was obvious that they were going to have to convince the authorities that Jared was the victim and not the perpetrator. Just looking at the taller man, all broad shoulders and strong limbs, he knew that it was going to be an uphill struggle. Danneel had already contacted the police and told them Jared’s side of the story, and they informed her that they would be waiting to talk to him when he arrived back home. Alice had already made a pretty long and convincing statement. Jensen could see how easy it would be to believe her, and although not a violent man by nature he felt as if he could wrap his hands around her lying throat and choke the life out of her.

Jared sat with his face pressed against the window and Jensen hadn’t got any clue as to what he was thinking. All the affection he felt for the man was making it hard for him to even think rationally. He wanted nothing more than to protect him, but he knew it wasn’t going to be easy and he wondered if Jared was ever going to catch a break.

They arrived back in Texas late on a Saturday night and Jensen insisted they went back to his apartment to rest. They needed to talk, and they needed to regroup. Jensen was still technically Jared’s counselor, and he had to get back on a professional footing if he was going to support the guy.

“No one will believe me.” Jared’s knuckles were white as he clutched the mug of coffee that Jensen had put in front of him. “Why should they? Look at her, and then look at me,” he drew a shuddering breath. “Fuck, Jensen. What a mess.”

Jensen couldn’t disagree with him there, but he hated to see the pain and suffering back in Jared’s exotic eyes. They had been so blissful in the house on the beach; a little slice of heaven in a life that had been hell for quite a while.

“We’ll sort it,” he said and hoped he sounded more convincing than he felt. “Danneel’s good.”

“They’re gonna’ take me to jail,” Jared’s voice broke. “I’m gonna’ go to jail, Jensen.”

“You won’t go to jail, Jared,” Jensen said and hoped he wasn’t making false promises. 

“Oh god,” he began to cry then, huge shuddering sobs. “I was so fucking happy. I never wanted to leave that place to come back here. I had everything I ever wanted there. I was gonna’ quit my job, and buy the fucking place.”

It was the first Jensen had heard of it, but he couldn’t say he was surprised. Jared had thrived in the house by the sea and, really, he didn’t need to work, he didn’t need the money. 

“I was going to let her have the house, have everything,” Jared was still talking. “I don’t love her, and she certainly doesn’t love me. I wanted t-to . . . ,” he stumbled over the words then and he lifted his head, tears smearing down his cheeks. “I-I wanted to stay with you, Jensen.” He flushed. “You mean a lot to me,” he finished, lamely.

“Oh, Jared.” Jensen put his hands on the other man’s shoulders and pulled him in. Whatever happened they were in this together, and Jensen wanted Jared to know that. He needed him to know that. “You mean a lot to me too,” he said.

****

The worse part of it was speaking to his parents; his mom cried and it was obvious from his dad’s clipped tones that he didn’t believe a word Jared was saying. 

“I’m so ashamed of you,” his dad’s voice was low. “You have brought the fine name of this family into disrepute. How could you do such a thing? Violence! Violence against a woman, of all things. I would never have believed it of you, Jared.”

“I-I never touched her, dad.” He could feel tears welling into his throat, and he bit his lip. He was exhausted, he seemed to spend his entire life crying of late. “I never hurt her.”

“Her bruises tell me a different story, son. She made the long journey here to tell us what had been happening between you two. Frankly, I was disgusted.”

Jared swallowed again; he wished he’d told the truth from the start because now he’d dug a hole for himself so fucking deep he was never going to climb out of it. The only people who really believed him were Jensen and Misha. Sure there were hospital records, but they’d be easily explained away. People had just referred to him as an accident prone klutz, and he hadn’t seen fit to tell them the truth.

His cell buzzed and he saw that there was a call waiting – Kim – he’d forgotten about her. His dad was still ranting so he put an end to that conversation and clicked onto Kim’s name instead.

“Oh Jared,” her voice was low with sympathy. “I only just heard, what are you going to do? I hope you’re going to fight this, sweetie.”

“How can I?” He’d never told Kim the real truth but it was obvious she suspected something. It was Kim who had put him in touch with Jensen and without Jensen he would have nothing. “Who is going to believe me?”

“I believe you, Jared.” It made his heart lift just to hear those words. “I’ll support you in anything you do, you know that.”

“She hurt me, Kim. There was years of it. She demanded things, and when I didn’t give them to her she . . . ,” he broke off on a choked sob. “I know it is hard to believe but . . . .”

“I said I believe you, and I do,” she sounded determined. “You have to be strong, Jared. This isn’t going to be easy.”

“My parents don’t believe me. They’re on her side.” He could still hear his dad’s harsh words, and he wondered how he could ever convince the man. “If I can’t convince my own parents how can I convince the police?”

“Take Jensen, and go to see your mom and dad. You have to talk to them, Jared. You have to explain why you hid this for so long. I know why you didn’t tell them, and I understand, but now it is time for you to be honest. Hell, you’ll need all the support you can get.”

She was right, he knew that now. He should have been honest from the start, should have told everyone the truth. He had to _man-up_ now, and face up to his situation. He’d brought this on himself to a certain extent by not being truthful from the start, but he couldn’t let Alice win again. He had his whole life ahead of him, and if he was going to live it how he wanted to he had to be strong.

“You’re a good person, Kim.” He had swallowed down his tears, faced his fears and now it was time to move forward. “And you give some really good advice.”

“I just want you to be happy, Jared,” she said and he steeled himself then, made a resolution that he wasn’t going to break. 

“Will you stand up for me in court if needed?” He asked because he was a realist, and he knew where this situation was heading.

“Of course I will.” She was smiling now, he could hear it in her voice. “Steve too.”

“Then I’m going to do this thing. I’m going to go to the police and I’m going to tell them the truth. Thing is they probably won’t believe me, but I’m going to fight and you know what? I’m going to win.”

****

Jensen was trying to study but his mind was elsewhere and, finally, he slammed down the lid of his laptop and decided that coffee was probably the place to go. He put the pot on to boil and then he stood by the window staring out, his head buzzing. 

Jared was still asleep curled in the cramped camp bed that had only been a _temporary_ measure. However, with things the way they were, it was clear that Jared couldn’t go back to his home. For a start Alice had some sort of restraining order in place, and there was security there twenty-four seven. Secondly the police had only let Jared stay out of jail because of his previous good record, and the fact that both Kim and Jensen had vouched for him.

Jensen had managed to get Jared another counselor; Jeffrey Morgan was an old-hand, and one of Jensen’s mentors, and Jensen was confident he would help Jared. Trouble was Jared hadn’t been to see him at all, in fact, apart from seeing the police on a regular basis Jared had barely left the house. Jensen could understand his reluctance to leave, but he was so worried about the younger man, worried that his health was suffering, and worried that his mental state was even more fragile than ever. He knew that Jared had been in touch with his parents, and that they had been less than supportive to say the least. He could see that their reaction had left Jared feeling worse than ever, and he wondered what the hell he could do to help.

Things were complicated to say the least. Jensen was falling and he was falling fast. Apart from their drunken fumble there had been nothing between them but friendship and, although he wanted more, he knew that now wasn’t the best time to push anything. Hell, Jared didn’t need any more complications in his life and Jensen - Jensen didn’t want to be a complication.

“You’re not studying,” Jared’s voice startled him out of his reverie and he turned to see that Jared was awake rubbing the sleep from his eyes like a child. “Are you okay? I’m not too much of a distraction, am I?”

Jensen wanted to say, _you ARE too much of a distraction_ but he just smiled weakly. Jared wriggled up the bed still yawning.

“You let me sleep too long.” Jared pushed back the sheets and Jensen turned away not wanting to see the acres of tanned skin on display. Jared only wore boxers in bed, and Jensen found it hard to resist the temptation.

“I thought you needed it.” Jensen made a big thing of brewing his coffee. “What are your plans for today?”

“Um, I don’t have too many.” He heard Jared shift awkwardly. “Your friend Jeffrey wanted to see me, but I don’t think I’m ready. I have an appointment to see Danneel later this afternoon, but apart from that nothing.” 

“You should see Jeffrey, he’s good.”

“Yeah,” Jared sighed. “I don’t think he can help me right now. I don’t need marriage guidance so much as I need a good lawyer.”

“How are things with your parents?” Jensen hated asking and he could tell by Jared’s halting breaths that there wasn’t a good answer to that question.

“My dad won’t let my mom talk to me. I heard that Alice went up to see them last weekend.” He heard the audible swallow that always meant tears. “I guess she went to show them her fading _bruises_.”

“I can’t believe that they’d believe her over you, their son.”

“Dad doesn’t want to admit his son is a failure and a probable gay failure at that. Mom won’t do anything to upset or go against dad.” There was a splutter of weak laughter. “I had a letter from him telling me to stay away from work. My bank account has been closed, and all my assets are frozen. Apart from a credit card and the money in my wallet I don’t have a dime.”

“It’ll be okay,” Jensen said and felt as if he had been repeating that mantra for weeks, and he was no closer to believing it than Jared was.

“If I didn’t have you, I don’t know what I’d do.”

“Jared.” He recoiled as he felt the weight of Jared’s arms around his waist. He tensed for a moment and he heard Jared sigh miserably. “This isn’t a good idea.”

“Isn’t it? I beg to differ.” Jared tightened his grip. “We’ve been _together_ for weeks now, and I really, really want you Jensen. I need you.”

Jensen turned in Jared’s arms; the other man was still half naked and he looked delightfully rumpled, his eyes bright and keen. Jensen leaned forward then and let his head fall onto Jared’s broad shoulders. Neither of them spoke, but he could feel the prod of Jared’s erection at his hip. Perhaps this wasn’t the time or the place, but there was no going back now and he lifted his head and pressed his lips against Jared’s.

“This is probably the worst mistake I’ll ever make,” he whispered against the other man’s lips and Jared laughed then finding Jensen’s mouth and deepening the kiss.

Jensen wasn’t a virgin but he knew that, in this, Jared was. He also knew that Jared was hurting both physically and mentally, and that what he needed right now was tenderness and understanding. It was hard to concentrate with Jared wriggling beneath him, the younger man opening his thighs so that Jensen fit between them, their cocks brushing together through the cotton of their boxers, Jared moaning into his mouth begging for more.

He started slow; his fingers brushing the waistband of Jared’s boxers, pulling them down as he put his mouth on Jared’s cock. It was clear by the panting breaths and hissed groans that no-one had ever done this to Jared before, and Jensen savored every taste, pre-come hot and salty flooding his mouth, Jared warning him, the juddering of his hips telling Jensen he was coming.

Afterwards, he prepped Jared slow and easy. Jared was relaxed, boneless almost as he lay sprawled on the bed, naked and exposed, giving Jensen everything of himself. Jensen entered him gently watching constantly for any signs of distress or pain. When he reached down Jared was already hard again, and he began to move then, his own erection insistent, his passion boiling to the surface. Soon he lost himself inside Jared’s heat and he couldn’t hold back a moment longer. He came with a long moan of pleasure, Jared clenching around him, his body taut as his orgasm hit for a second time. Jensen had had plenty of sex in his life but he had never lain with anyone that he loved before, and he almost lost it, floating above his own body for the longest of moments only coming back down when he was finally drained and empty.

****

There were a million things in his life that he regretted, but this wasn’t going to be one of them. Jensen was tucked under his arm, fitting better than Alice ever had, fitting better than he could have ever imagined and he felt as if he had been rescued, as if he could do anything, face anything now that he had this. He would be forever thankful to Kim for introducing him to Jensen. His life might be falling apart but this gave him something to strive for, a reason to keep things together.

“You watching me sleep?” Jensen rolled over and opened a sleepy green eye. “That’s kinda’ creepy.”

“Sorry.” Jared wasn’t, not really. “I-I was just thinking how lucky I was to have met you.”

Jensen flushed, pink creeping across the high bones of his cheeks. He looked sated and more than a little stunned, but he was smiling and that was a good thing.

“Yeah, well that could be debatable.” Jensen sat up and propped himself up against the headboard of his bed.

“No,” Jared shook his head. “It’s all good.”

Jensen was silent for a moment and Jared hoped that the other man wasn’t regretting anything. He knew Jensen was studying hard to be a counselor, and he knew that by becoming involved with Jared he was risking everything. He didn’t want to ruin Jensen’s life, but he couldn’t imagine his own right now, couldn’t imagine HIS life without Jensen in it. He hadn’t been planning for this to happen, but now that it had he didn’t want to lose it. He knew that the months ahead were gonna’ be hard, but he also knew that he could face things better with Jensen by his side.

“I wasn’t meaning for that to happen.” Jensen waved his arm over the rumpled sheets.

“Me either, but I’m glad it did.”

“This isn’t going to make things any easier,” Jensen’s voice was low. “Whatever you might think.”

“No one need know.” Jared reached over and squeezed Jensen’s bare shoulder, the feel of soft skin under his palm reassuring. “Apart from Misha, Danneel and maybe Kim, no one even knows we have had any sort of relationship,” he said and swallowed and hoped he wouldn’t be moving too fast. “I think I could love you, Jensen.”

Jensen’s smile was tremulous but there; it was obvious by his expression that he felt the same way but it was also obvious that he was concerned. Jared knew this thing with Alice wasn’t going to go away but he was weary of being the victim, and he wanted to stand up for himself. He was aware he could lose everything but he was also aware he had a hell of a lot to gain.

“I thought I might go see Jeffrey today, then drop by Danneel’s office. It’s time I stopped hiding and started fighting.” Jared saw Jensen’s eyes light up, hope reflecting in those green depths. “This is my chance to change things,” he continued. “And I’m going to have to take it.”

“You can do this.” Jensen’s hand came up and closed around his. “We can do this.”

Jared nodded and lifted his chin defiantly.

“Yeah,” he said. “We can.”

****

Jared hadn’t expected to see her so soon; he arrived in Danneel’s office early one Monday morning and there she was, his wife, expensively dressed as usual in, what looked like, a real fur jacket with a long suede skirt underneath. Her hair was elegantly styled, and her make-up perfect. There were no marks on her now, and Jared wondered how they had got there in the first place. He wondered if she had gotten somebody to hurt her.

They didn’t speak; he couldn’t find any words and she just stared, brown eyes knowing. Her red smeared lips tipped up in a smug smirk, and she shifted on her seat pulling her skirt around her knees. Danneel looked up at him apologetically. Even she seemed phased by the vision before her, and Jared understood, Alice seemed to affect everyone that way.

“Your wife insisted on being here for this meeting,” Danneel’s voice was clipped, professional. “We are waiting for her lawyer, and then we can begin.” Her eyes met his again. “It is my hope that we can resolve this case without it going to court. A settlement may be reached, and all charges of domestic violence dropped.”

“I don’t think so,” Alice’s tone told its own story. “This whole thing has been very distressing. My husband upped and left me without an explanation. He left me to cope alone, after beating me almost regularly.”

“That’s not fucking true and you know it,” panic made the words burst out of him, wild and uncontained and he heard Danneel’s sharp intake of breath, saw the warning in her eyes.

“We’ll let the court decide that,” she concluded, calm, unflustered by his outburst.

Jensen had a class today which Jared had insisted he go to, however, now he wished he wasn’t alone. He felt horribly alone and exposed, the very sight of his wife knocking the fight out of him, pain clenching his heart and making his throat ache. Jared opened his mouth to speak, but before he could even say a word another person entered the room. This man was older, his carefully coiffured hair a silvery grey. He wore a blue velvet suit and a white shirt without a tie. His dress was oddly flamboyant, but his manner was nothing less than professional and Jared’s mouth felt as dry as dust, the words he was about to say sticking in his throat.

“Sebastian.” Alice rose to her feet and pressed a kiss against the man’s cheek. “Thank God you’re here, things were getting a tad violent.”

“I sincerely hope not,” the man, Sebastian, had a voice that was as smooth as butter, a clipped English accent that gave away his background. “Ms. Harris you promised me you would control your client.”

“Your client was very quick to accuse.” Danneel showed she wasn’t out of her depth. “I will not have slurs against Mr. Padalecki thrown around in this office.”

“You cannot blame Mrs. Padalecki for her outbursts, she is terrified of her husband.” He narrowed his eyes. “You have seen the pictures, so you know what she has had to endure.”

“Mr. Roche, I too have pictures.” Danneel’s wink was slow and surreptitious. “So if you want to play that game go ahead.”

The other lawyer nodded and Jared swallowed as blue eyes assessed him.

“We should try and conduct this meeting with as little conflict as possible,” he continued smoothly. “We both know that an out of court settlement is out of the question. My client is determined to seek justice.”

“Very well,” Danneel replied and her manner turned steely. “Just as long as your client is aware of the consequences if she does.”

There was a telling silence and Jared felt Alice’s eyes burning into him. He tried to remember if they were ever happy, or why he had even gone down on one knee in the first place. He couldn’t recall anything but the pain of her nails, the whine of her voice, and her insistence that he give her everything she wanted without question. She had managed not only to hurt him physically but to turn his parents against him, to alienate him from his family and to make sure he was truly alone. Little did she know that he now had Jensen, he had someone who would love and support him, and someone who would stand up for him. He tilted his chin rebelliously and tried to keep the fear out of his heart, and out of his eyes. If she wanted a fight then he would give her one. He was in the right, and he had to remember that. He should have been honest from the start, but it was too late for regrets. 

“Oh yes.” Roche nodded sagely. “She is very aware.”

“Then we will agree to have our day in court.” Danneel smiled coldly. “I’m looking forward to it.”

“As am I,” Roche replied and Jared couldn’t repress a shudder. 

****

Jensen bent over his paper and chewed on his pen; his head was aching and he was certain the work he’d just done wasn’t up to the standard he needed to pass. He rubbed the back of his neck and pushed the writing away from him. All he could think of was Jared, and he felt a bit like a teenager in love, almost over obsessed with one person, and unable to concentrate on anything but the way he felt. He knew Jared had been to see Danneel today, and he wondered how things had gone. Danneel was pretty sparky when she put her mind to it and Jensen had every faith in her. He knew that things were going to get worse before they got better and all he could hope for was that they would both get through this, and come out of the other side.

Now that Jared wasn’t his client they had been able to be open about their relationship. It was early days yet, and Jensen was a realist. He knew what Jared was going through and he certainly didn’t want to add to his confusion. Despite everything it was still a hard fact that Jared had been married for ten years, and he’d certainly not had any opportunity to act on his _true_ feelings. Jensen had to steel himself for disappointment and possible heartbreak. He knew that much, but he had gone into this with his eyes open and he was going to be by Jared’s side for as long as the other man wanted him there.

It was late when he finally got home and let himself into his apartment. They’d moved the camp bed out of the lounge now and shared Jensen’s king sized instead. To be frank, his apartment wasn’t really big enough for two but it was the only option they had as Jared’s money had been _cut off_ by his angry father. It galled Jensen to think of Alice living in the lap of luxury while he and Jared struggled along, but he had to believe things would change or else he would go mad.

“Hey.” Jared was in the kitchen cooking something that smelled wonderful. Jensen’s mouth watered as he leaned over Jared’s shoulder. “I didn’t know you could cook.”

“I’ve got hidden talents.” Jared smiled but Jensen noticed how pale he was, dark shadows beneath his eyes making him look too thin.

“How did your day go?” Jensen sat at the kitchen table and helped himself to a beer. He very rarely drank alcohol before seven, and especially not on a week night, but he felt the need for something stronger than coffee.

“I got called to Danneel’s office.” Jared’s shoulders were tense as he bent over the stove. “Alice was there with her lawyer. It was awkward.”

“Shit.” He knew his reaction wasn’t exactly stellar but he couldn’t form a sentence. “That sounds pretty fucking awful.”

“Yeah.” Jared pulled the pot from the stove and sat down to face Jensen. “It was.”

“Have you seen Jeff?” Jensen wanted to change the subject quickly, take that look of fear and pain off Jared’s face.

“I went to see him afterward, but there’s not much I can say to be honest. You helped me make the decision to leave Alice and now I’ve gotta’ live with the consequences.”

“Do you regret it?”

“No. No, I don’t. Eventually it would have come to a head, one way or another.”

“She’s a bitch.” Jensen couldn’t help himself and Jared gave a snort of laughter.

“Can’t disagree there.” He took the offered beer and pulled at the label for a moment. “She’s got photographs of _injuries_ ,” he said and shuddered. “She must have gotten someone to do that to her, or done it herself.” 

“Yeah, it’s pretty sick.”

“The worse thing is that my parents believe her. That hurts.”

“You could go and see them and try to talk some sense into them.”

“My mom might listen, but my dad . . . not so much.”

“You have to tell them the truth, Jared.”

Jensen watched the emotions play across Jared’s expressive face and the ache in his chest grew. He blamed himself for all of this; he was so determined to get Jared out his marriage, and out of danger that he hadn’t even considered the consequences. Alice had them over a barrel. She was small and delicate, and it would be hard to believe that she had actually hurt Jared. Sure there were the hospital reports, and the long list of injuries that Jared had sustained during his marriage, but if Jensen put himself in the same position as a jury he could see how impossible it would be to look at Jared and at Alice and then say which was the more violent partner. All they could do was rely on character witnesses and Danneel’s skills as a lawyer. It would help though if at least one of Jared’s parents was on their side.

“I guess I could try,” he answered and Jensen felt a stab of relief. 

“I’ll come with you,” Jensen offered and he saw the hope dawn on Jared’s pale face.

“What about your college work?”

“I can take my laptop with me.” 

“It’s gonna be hard for them to accept I’m gay, let alone accept a partner.”

“Is that what I am? Your partner?”

“You’re a lot more than that, Jensen.” Jared was smiling again, dimples showing against pale skin. “You are everything to me, and they are gonna’ have to see that.”

“Everything to you, sounds good.” Jensen went easily into Jared’s arms. “It sounds really good.”

“You ready for dinner, or do you want to work up an appetite?” Jared was smiling wider now and Jensen felt his own mouth curve up in answer. “We’ve got time.”

“Then I’m up for whatever you have in mind,” he said on a chuckle and he was swept up into Jared’s arms, the two of them giggling like children as Jared attempted to carry him to the bed.

And the day just got a whole lot better.

****

Jensen had prepared himself for meeting Jared’s parents, but he still felt nervous as the taxi pulled up into the biggest drive he’d ever seen. He’d thought Jared’s house was luxurious but this – this was something else entirely. The gardens were almost as big as Jensen’s whole block, and the house sat on top of a small incline, large windows shining pristine and clean in the late morning sunshine. Jared hauled his bag out of the trunk and Jensen did the same. He had arranged this meeting to coincide with Jared’s dad being out of town. There was just his mom here at the moment, and Jensen felt it would be easier to deal with her on her own, maybe easier to persuade her that her son wasn’t a wife beater.

A maid opened the door; she was dressed like something out of _Downtown Abbey_ , and Jensen half expected her to curtsey. She clearly knew Jared because she was having problems hiding her smile of delight. Jared followed her into the hall and Jensen noted how pale he looked, the fear in his eyes obvious.

Jared’s mother was waiting for them in the study. She was a tall slim woman who looked nervous, her thin fingers plucking anxiously at her expensive silk skirt. She had Jared’s high cheek bones and speckled hazel eyes, and her greying hair was held back in a neat chignon. She half rose when they entered but she seemed to be having trouble looking her son in the eyes. Jensen sat down opposite her and Jared perched next to him, uneasy, breathing heavy and labored.

“I must be mad seeing you like this.” Mrs. Padalecki looked over her shoulder as if she expected trouble at any moment. “Your dad would kill me if he knew.”

“Mom.” Jared leaned forward and held out his hands, heart breaking as his mom staunchly ignored his gesture. “You have to believe me.”

“I saw her, Jared. She showed me her bruises, and the lacerations on her wrists. How could you? How could you hurt her like that?”

“He didn’t hurt her.” Jensen shook his head, astonished. “She was the one doing the hurting.”

“And you expect us to believe that?”

“Think of all the times your son was hospitalized. Do you remember his wife ever letting you visit him? She kept you away for a reason Mrs. Padalecki. She didn’t want you to see just what she had been doing to him.”

“She is so small and delicate and look at you.” Mrs. Padalecki pursed her lips, and Jensen saw tears sparkle in her eyes. “You used to swim and play basketball, and you worked out. How could she have hurt you?”

“Why is it so hard for you to believe me?” Jared’s voice broke on a sob. “I’m your son! Your son, and I’ve never given you any reason to doubt me.”

“Your father blames the fact that you are clearly not over this…this _homosexual_ thing.”

“It isn’t a thing.” Jared wiped angrily at his eyes. “I’m gay, mom. You are gonna’ have to accept it but that’s the problem, isn’t it? You’d rather accept the fact I’m a wife beater than accept the fact that I’m attracted to men. Better a violent psycho for a son, than a faggot.”

“Jared!” Mrs. Padalecki had paled in shock, her eyes on Jensen suddenly, her mouth moving.

“Please.” Jensen put his hand on Jared’s arm grounding him, “you have to believe him. He’s your son, surely that means something.”

“Oh, Jared.” She was crying then, and Jensen tried not to feel any guilt. Her thin shoulders were shaking and she buried her head in her hands. “Is it true?” She managed. “Did Alice do all those terrible things to you?”

Jared took a shaky breath and Jensen saw the flare of hope in his red rimmed eyes. 

“Yeah, mom she did. I was just too ashamed to tell anyone. Jensen here was the first person I was actually honest with. I know I should have come clean earlier but, I-I. . . .” He laughed wetly, voice wry. “I didn’t think anyone would believe me.”

“I’m sorry son,” his mom sounded wrecked but Jensen’s heart surged with a sudden taste of victory. “She was so convincing, and your father . . . .”

“I know.” Jared leaned forward again and this time his mom took his shaking hands in her own. “I know all about dad.”

“Can you forgive me, Jared?” 

“Yeah.” He let her embrace him then, firm arms around him, feeling safer than he had in years. “Of course I can.”

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled and he continued to hold her as she cried.

****

Jensen knew that this was just one small step; he’d been through similar experiences with some of his family and it hadn’t been easy. Jared’s mom might believe them but he knew that, when push came to shove, she was going to side with her husband. Jared knew it too, but her belief and recognition was enough for now. It had to be and he was going to take the smallest scraps that he could. They flew back home before Jared’s dad came back; neither of them were ready to face Gerald Padalecki and, although it seemed cowardly, Jensen knew they were doing the right thing. 

There was a message from Danneel on the phone. She sounded distressed and concerned and Jared was almost scared to return her call, worried about what else she might have to throw at them. However, when he rang she was quiet, contrite and she explained that she had something to show them, something that was going to help their case. They arranged to meet the next morning and Jensen almost forced Jared into bed. Jared needed his sleep, and he needed to keep his strength up. He looked thin and pale lying there, his face white against the cotton of the pillow. Shadows had formed beneath his eyes, and his cheeks were hollowed, high and bony. Jensen couldn’t stop thinking of Alice alone in that luxurious house, so sure that she was going to win this one, so sure she was going to take Jared to the cleaners and ruin his reputation and his life at the same time.

They met in Danneel’s office; she looked harassed, her usually smart suit crumpled, her red hair spilling across her shoulders and over her face. She sat behind her desk and reached into the drawer pulling out a huge brown envelope and thrusting in front of them.

“I had no idea the hospital had done this,” she began. “But apparently they were suspicious of the amount of times you had been taken in. They suspected that you might be self-harming or that you had gotten into some sort of trouble. They felt that your injuries were serious enough to keep a record of them and this is it.

Jensen reached into the envelope and pulled out a wedge of glossy photographs. Each one was dated and each one showed an image of Jared and his injuries. Jensen felt physically sick as he stared down at the pictures. Jared’s torso was a mess of bruises and lacerations (he’d already explained how Alice liked to use her nails). In another his face was pale but for two huge scratches from his eye to his chin, another showed his legs covered in purple bruises as if someone had attacked him with a hammer or worse. They were all dated over a number of years and they were like a catalog of abuse, something Jensen had seen before but never like this.

It was then Jensen realized how damaged Jared really was; realized the scale of abuse and pain he had had to deal with, and realized the agony he must have been going through every single day of his life. Jared had put up with it for years, for fucking years because he was too ashamed to admit that a woman was beating him up and because he wouldn’t fight back. He wouldn’t stop Alice because it would have meant hurting her, and he wouldn’t do that. Jared had become a victim, caught in a trap almost of his own making and, if Jensen hadn’t have come along when he did, he might not even be alive.

Jensen had seen abuse before, but never like this. Jared wasn’t some weak woman who couldn’t stand up for herself, wasn’t a scared wife who put up with it for the sake of her children, or because she didn’t know what else to do. Jared had been a big strong man, an intelligent man, someone who had run the family business and been confident in his own identity. Alice had beaten all that out of him, had destroyed what confidence he had and made him frightened of his own fucking shadow. Jensen wasn’t sure if he could change things for Jared, or make his life better, but he had to try. He had fallen in love with this man, fallen hard and fast and there was no going back. Whatever happened in court Jensen was there for the long haul and he was going to make sure that Jared was safe and loved even if he had to move heaven and earth to do it.

“Did you know about these?” Danneel asked as both men stared at the photos. “Were you aware?”

“No.” Jared shook his head. “I just thought they - the hospital - thought I was a big klutz. Alice always paid for a private room, always came to visit and always played the _loving_ wife. They’d ask her what had happened to me, and she always said I was clumsy or that I was accident prone. I guess they never suspected her, why would they?”

“These photos will form the better part of our case,” Danneel said, softly. “They stretch over several years and my bet is that Alice has nothing like this in her _armory_. She may have had someone _mark her up once or twice_ but this – this is something else entirely.”  
“I’ll tell you the truth.” Jared let his finger play over one of the photographs. He could barely look at the image, the paleness of his skin, and the marks all over him. He’d let her do that to him and he still beat himself up over it, still felt that he had been too vulnerable, and too weak. Even now he’d fled from his home before he could confront his dad; even now he was scared of what his parent’s thought, of what other people thought. He was nearing thirty-three years old and acting like a scared little child. His life had been one of money and privilege and he’d never really learned to fight. Now it was time to man up and step up to the plate. He had been a victim for far too long. “I’m scared, and it’s no use me pretending otherwise, but I’m ready for anything she has to throw at me.” He glanced over to Jensen, saw those familiar green eyes, and saw the hope in Jensen’s expression. “I’m ready to take the fight to Alice, and that fucking preening lawyer of hers! She’s ruined my life for far too long.”

“So should we do it?” Danneel looked relieved. “Shall we get an early court date and go for it?”

“Yes.” Jared pulled himself up to his full height and put his hand in Jensen’s. “Let’s do this thing.”

**** 

The weeks that followed were hell but at least they were together. Jared had to go for endless meetings with Danneel; had to have psyche tests, medical tests, had to go through endless rounds of questions, and practice for when he finally went to court. The media were having a field day, photographers hovering around Jensen’s apartment, following him to his office and generally making themselves a nuisance. There were interviews with Jared’s father who still supported Alice, and Jensen wondered how Jared’s mom was taking all of this. She rang her son regularly, but only when her husband was out of the house or out of the state. Jensen realized that Jared’s mom was also a victim of domestic abuse, not physical abuse by any means, but mental mistreatment which was as bad. Gerald Padalecki was a bully, ruling with his money and power. The patriarch who was always right. Jensen watched him on the television, watched his smug expressions, and the way he carried himself. He was still withholding Jared’s money and allowances, and the two of them were struggling to make ends meet. Jared was doing odd jobs around the town, gardening, painting, dog walking, anything he could to earn a few dollars here and there. They never went out and they never did much more than huddle on Jensen’s sofa and watch cheesy movies. Despite this they were happy and determined and all they could hope for was that it would all be worth it in the end.

Jensen still studied and he insisted Jared join a support group which dealt with domestic abuse. He knew it was hard because the group members were all women but they welcomed Jared with open arms and they never, ever doubted him. Jared began to get his confidence back, began to eat more and take daily exercise. He was swimming again, walking everywhere and Jensen saw the changes. Jared had always been beautiful but there had been a vulnerability about him, something otherworldly and fragile. Now he was growing stronger and Jensen felt prouder than he had in years, so much in love that it was almost stupid.

Their sex life blossomed. Now he was feeling better, Jared was almost insatiable. Jensen found himself jumped on in almost every room in his apartment and he wondered if he would have the energy to keep up with his lover. Things might not have been easy but he had never been happier, and every day he woke with Jared beside him was a bonus.

Not long before his final exams Danneel rang with a date. They would be going to court on July 2nd. There was something ironic about the date being so close to American Independence Day, Jared’s Independence Day. This was it, all they had been waiting for, practicing for, and fighting for. The odds were stacked against them, and the media were going to have a field day but it didn’t matter. Jensen was confident Jared would win this thing, and he couldn’t wait to start living his life again with Jared by his side.

****

Jared swallowed hard as he took his seat next to Danneel. He’d never been in court before and it was almost overwhelming. The building was old, historical and the décor outdated. The room they were in was large with high ceilings and paintings of fierce looking judges on every wall. It smelt of furniture polish and leather, and it was full to overflowing. He hadn’t expected that the trial would attract so much attention, but the fact that he was Gerald Padalecki’s son had certainly caused the press to gather both outside and in. He put his hand in front of his face, his eyes swimming. 

“It’s alright.” Danneel put a manicured hand on his arm. “Just keep breathing.”

He laughed weakly and Danneel clasped his arm gently. He looked up again and saw Alice and her lawyer take their seats on the opposite side of the court. Alice was dressed conservatively in a black suit, her face pale and without make-up. Jared swallowed again and clenched his fists, his shoulders tensing. He’d never hurt her but now he just wanted to put his hands around her throat and squeeze. He breathed again and tamped down his anger. It wouldn’t do him any good to lose it right now and he had to stay calm for the sake of both his sanity and his liberty.

“There he is,” Danneel’s voice broke into his reverie and he turned to see Jensen take his seat three rows back. He looked odd in his smart suit and matching tie, and Jared felt his mouth curve into smile despite his fear. If Jensen was here then he could face anything.

Roche started and Jared felt as if he were in a grip of a nightmare. He hardly recognized the _description_ of himself and his marriage. According to the slimy lawyer he was a jock, a rich and privileged man who beat his wife when she didn’t give him what he wanted. He heard himself painted as a sexual predator, a gay man who married Alice to hide his sexual preferences. He kept swallowing, bile rising up in his throat at every word that came out of the lawyer’s mouth. He couldn’t comprehend what was being said, and he put his head in his hands afraid to even glance at the jury, afraid to look up at all. He could still hear the words and he wished he could slam his hands over his ears. It was all lies, but why shouldn’t they believe it? He didn’t look like the fragile victim here but Alice certainly did.

 

Danneel spoke next; her voice was soft and she went to stand opposite the jury, looking each and every one of them in the eye. She was telling the truth but, even to Jared’s ears, it sounded odd, unbelievable. He wondered what the jury thought, what the press were writing and he glanced around him, his heart sinking as he saw his father staring back at him with accusing eyes, his mom sitting next to him wiping away tears. He didn’t even have the support of his own parents despite what his mom had said during his visit to her. Without his family behind him he was cut off, alone in his fight with only a few people on his side. He rubbed his face and breathed hard through his nose. He began to think that, at the end of all this, he would be in jail and fear thrummed through him like a living thing.

The morning passed in a blur; witnesses for the prosecution, _doctors_ who claimed to have seen Alice’s injuries, counselors who had talked to her, and _mutual friends_ who Jared had never seen before telling the court about all the times they had seen Jared act violently towards his wife. The only thing that kept him from running, from just standing up and screaming was Jensen’s unwavering gaze, those beautiful green eyes full of love and tenderness, the occasional thumbs-up, a grin here, and a wink there. Jared kept his shoulders up and his _game face_ on and, finally, the judge called a recess and gave them an hour for lunch.

They sat together in a private room, with sandwiches that they couldn’t eat and silence heavy between them. Jensen held his hand tight and Danneel took notes. None of them had anything to say, and Jared knew that the morning had not gone well for them and the afternoon would be even worse.

His own father took the stand that afternoon. He spoke confidently about the shame of having a gay son, about the fact he adored Alice and thought that Jared felt the same. He said how he wasn’t surprised that his son had turned violent, told the court about Jared’s love of sport, about his enthusiasm on the football field and the fact that he had once trained in martial arts. It was like something out of a lame soap opera with the jury lapping it up. Jared still couldn’t look at them but he knew how convincing his dad sounded. Danneel had chosen not to cross examine any of the witnesses preferring to talk to them during her defense. Jared didn’t know enough about law to know if this was a good or bad tactic and he licked at his dry mouth, nerves making him feel sick to his stomach.

It was late when they finished for the day and Jared felt exhausted. The court was adjourned until the Monday following the holiday weekend and then it would be Alice’s turn on the stand and he was dreading it. He dreaded to hear the lies she would tell. They passed each other in the corridor and she smiled at him smug and confident as if she had already won. He just wanted to go home and he felt nothing but relief when Jensen took him by the hand and led him over to the cab he’d hired to take them home. 

“Come on,” he whispered. “Dinner and bed – things will look better in the morning.”

All Jared could do was hope he was right.

****

Jensen sat and watched as Alice took the stand. She looked small and frail, her face pale beneath the subtle make-up that she wore. For once she wasn’t wearing expensive clothing, but a plain black dress and matching jacket that might have come from a thrift store it was so ordinary. Her hand rested on the bible as she swore to tell the truth and Jensen noticed that she had cut her nails. He bit his lip and glanced to where Jared was sitting, straight backed and stiff. This was going to be agonizing and he wished that he could do something, anything to make his lover feel better.

As Alice spoke he watched the jury. It was easy to see how they would believe her, and not Jared. She spoke softly telling a story about a man who was violent, unhappy, and frustrated. She told them how she had wanted children, but Jared wouldn’t even have sex with her. She went on to tell them she loved her husband, but it was obvious that Jared didn’t feel the same. Then, voice lower still, she told how her husband had met Jensen and had finally left her. She had wanted him back, she said, despite the violence. She just wanted him to love her, and she was prepared to _put up with anything_ as long as he returned to her. Roche was as smooth as silk, leading his client on, asking her about the violence. Alice wiped her eyes then, sniffing dramatically into her handkerchief. She told of punches, of black eyes and visits to the doctor. The women in the jury looked horrified, turned their eyes to Jared and shook their heads. Jensen wanted to scream that it was all lies but he bit his lip and lowered his head, sure that they were going to lose this, certain that he was going to lose Jared.

 

After Roche had finished the whole court was silent; Danneel had decided that she would cross examine Alice right then, and she asked the judge for permission which he granted. Danneel looked fierce, suited and booted, her red hair tied back neatly, eyes burning as she faced the other woman. 

“Do you have photographs?” She asked. “Doctor’s reports pertaining to your injuries?”

“Of course,” Alice said and nodded to Roche who pulled out a manila envelope. “Everything is in there.”

The judge nodded and Roche passed the envelope to Danneel who opened it and looked inside. Jensen’s breath caught in his throat as he saw her pale, and he knew with terrible clarity that doctors had been bribed. Bribed with Jared’s money, and the irony of it all stung him hard, pain in his chest making it hard for him to breathe. He watched as, hand’s shaking, Danneel studied the _evidence_. The Jury would be allowed to see it too, and Jensen could only pray that it wasn’t too damning.

After that everything seemed to go too fast. Danneel’s questions were answered by a calm, confident Alice and the jury looked ready to give their verdict. Finally, mercifully, the judge called recess and they were allowed to leave. Jared sat motionless with his head in his hands and Jensen swallowed back tears as he put his arms around Jared’s shaking shoulders and held on.

The prosecution rested their case two hours later and the judge let them go for the day. Tomorrow the defense would begin, but Jensen knew that it was an almost insurmountable task. He had seen the jury’s reaction to the _evidence_ that Roche gave them, and he had seen the hatred in their eyes as they looked at Jared. His lover was guilty before proven innocent, and Jensen didn’t know how they were going to win this one.

****

Danneel had a scant amount of witnesses to call.

Kim had agreed to be a character witness and she took the stand looking nervous. She explained how she had suggested Jared visit Jensen, how concerned she had been with Jared’s health and welfare. For the first time since the trial started Jensen began to feel a smidgen of hope. Kim told the court about her frequent visits to the Padalecki’s, told them how Jared always seemed to be having _accidents_ , and how she never accepted Alice’s explanation about clumsiness. Danneel asked her to clarify what she meant and you could have heard a pin drop when Kim stood tall on the stand and said, “I believe that Jared was being beaten by his wife.”

Danneel left it at that and Roche went in for the kill. However, Kim was made of sterner stuff, and despite Roche’s grilling she stuck both to her story and her defense of Jared.

Jensen had been warned that he might be called and, sure enough, after recess Danneel asked him to take the stand. He was pretty nervous as he put his hand on the bible and swore his oath but he knew he had to do this and that this was his chance to try and put things right. He could see Alice watching him with sly eyes and, instead, he kept his gaze on Jared. The younger man looked worn out and Jensen was all too aware that he hadn’t been sleeping. He answered Danneel’s questions slowly and carefully, explaining that Kim had recommended Jared see him. He further explained how he had been Jared’s counselor for a short while, but he had passed on the responsibility as soon as they had started a relationship. As he looked around the court room he could see Jared’s father staring at him with ill-concealed disgust. Jared’s mom smiled at him, but showed no sign of support and Jensen wished he could get Jared’s parents on their side. He talked at length about Jared’s problems, about how he had offered a home to the younger man. He admitted to seeing the various injuries that Jared _claimed_ had been given to him by his wife. Danneel asked him a few more things and then Roche stepped up, a smug smile on his face.

“You are in a sexual relationship with the accused,” he stated blandly. “Isn’t that so?”

“Yes.” Jensen lifted his chin defiantly. “I am and we are very happy.”

“Isn’t it true that you persuaded Mr. Padalecki to leave his wife? To come live with you?”

“I asked him to come for his own safety.” Jensen refused to be threatened by this man. “I’d seen the things he’d been through.”

“Oh yes, the _violence_ committed by his wife. Do you really expect us to believe that this poor, fragile woman was able to hurt Mr. Padalecki? The man is 6ft 5 inches tall, he played football and swam for his college team. It’s too far-fetched Mr. Ackles, and you are foolish if you think for one minute anyone believes you.”

“I believed Jared then, and I believe him now.” Jensen met Roche’s eyes. “I saw how miserable he was when he came to me for counseling, and I saw how difficult it was for him to admit to being abused by his wife. I’m not a fool, and I know how this must look but I don’t care. All that matters is Jared, and getting some sort of justice for him.”

Roche opened his mouth and closed it again, stunned by Jensen’s outburst. He shook his head and looked down at his notes. Jensen took a surreptitious glance at the jury and, for the first time, saw doubt in their eyes. He wanted to punch the air but he kept still and quiet. 

After that he was allowed to leave the stand and the judge gave them an hour for lunch. Soon it would be Jared’s turn and Jensen felt his own stomach turn with nerves. He hoped to God that Jared would be able to convince the jury of his innocence, and he prayed that Alice would finally get her just desserts.

****

 

Jared gave his name quietly; he put his hand on the bible and stated that he would tell the truth and nothing but. Jensen saw how pale he looked, shadows under his eyes indicating lack of sleep, lines around his mouth telling their own tale. Danneel approached him slowly and began by asking him simple questions. _How long had he been married?_ and _What was his job?_. Jared gave one word answers and his voice was shaking. Jensen wanted nothing more than to leap up and hug him, but he knew he couldn’t and so he sat on his trembling hands and prayed to whoever might be listening.

He wondered what the jury thought as Danneel began to question Jared about his relationship with Alice and whether they had been happy. Jared’s voice wavered terribly as he began to talk about the abuse, and Jensen took a glance at the jury trying to read their reactions. After Jared had finished Danneel turned to the judge.

“I have some evidence here I want to present to the jury,” she said, softly. “Photographs of Mr. Padalecki in hospital, and some taken by his own doctor.”

The judge nodded, and Danneel moved over to the jury and handed the foreman the manila envelope. Jensen watched as the man took out the photographs and passed them to his fellow jury members. He had only seen the photographs once but he recalled with awful clarity the effect they had had on him and he bit his lip, his eyes drifting to Jared who sat stock still, his shoulders rigid, and his expression unreadable. It was so silent in the court that Jensen actually heard one of the women’s sharp intake of breath, and a muffled sob of shock from another. Danneel kept quiet until every member had seen the photographs, and then she came back to Jared who looked as if he might pass out at any moment.

“Did you ever tell anyone why you were constantly in the ER?” She asked finally.

“No,” Jared replied and swallowed. “I-I-I couldn’t. I was sure no one would ever believe me.”

“And you never once fought back.”

“No.” He lowered his eyes. “She is so much smaller than me, I didn’t want to hurt her.”

Jensen had to swallow the lump in his throat. You could hear a pin drop in the court room and, suddenly, even Roche didn’t look so confident.

“You just allowed this to happen?” Danneel was close to Jared now. “You let her hurt you.”

“I thought it was an accident at first, and then . . . then as it continued it was too late. Sure I was tired a lot of the time, and it made me clumsy. Sometimes I couldn’t remember what had happened. It all seemed like a dream.”

“Lies!” Alice’s voice rang out, her outburst a shock to everyone. “All of this is lies. Look at him, just look at him. He’s huge! How could I possibly hurt him?”

“Sit down Mrs. Padalecki, or you’ll be removed from court,” the judge sounded angry. “Let Ms. Harris do her job.”

“Sometimes abuse isn’t just about punches or kicks,” Danneel continued, unfazed by Alice’s sudden outburst. “Sometimes it is about mental torture, sometimes it is just plain bullying. See those photos? See the scars and abrasions on Mr. Padalecki’s arms and neck? What else other than someone’s long nails could have done that? You don’t have a cat or dog, do you? Something else you didn’t _allow_ your husband to have.”

“Ms. Harris,” the judge warned. “Keep to your argument please.”

“Yes, your honor.” Danneel smiled calmly. “I apologize. The point I am trying to make is that Mrs. Padalecki was more than capable of abusing her husband, and I put it to you that when he finally got the courage to leave her she panicked and decided to put in a counter attack before he had the chance to tell everyone the truth.” She faced the jury. “You have to make a choice here and it is a hard one anybody can see that. You have to decide whether this man is capable of violence towards his spouse, or if his wife was the one who was doing the abusing. On paper it looks straight forward but if you look at those photographs you have to be honest with yourself. How did Mr. Padalecki come by some of these injuries? How did a man who was good at sports, a swimmer, and an excellent football player become so clumsy he constantly fell down stairs or tripped through a glass window? I beg of you to look closely at these photographs before you come to your decision, to look closely at Jared here, and decide if he is indeed a victim or a perpetrator of domestic violence. I pray that you will make the right decision.”

****

The cross examination by Roche was something that Jared wasn’t looking forward to. The man was a slime ball but he was good at his job and Jared knew Alice would have briefed him pretty thoroughly so he would be armed with plenty of ammunition. Jared didn’t want to go to jail but, even more than that, Jared didn’t want to be branded a wife beater or an abuser. He had seen in his support group how terrible the women there had been treated by their husbands, and he didn’t want to be tarred with the same brush. He had never hurt Alice and, even now, he wouldn’t ever hurt her. He didn’t understand what had happened, couldn’t conceive how their marriage had so quickly turned sour. Sure, he knew that he shouldn’t have even married her, he should have accepted his sexuality and maybe then he would have found love sooner. Now he had Jensen, he realized how wonderful real love was. He could see that his marriage to Alice had been a farce, something he should never have even attempted.

Roche approached him and began to talk; the man’s eyes were on him like an eagle watching its prey. He looked confident and smug, despite the fact that Danneel appeared to have _won over_ the jury. Jared looked over Roche’s head and saw his parents sitting in the courtroom. His dad had an arm over his mom’s shoulders and his mom’s face was white, her eyes damp. Jared swallowed down a lump in his throat and tried to listen to what Roche was saying. He felt faint all of a sudden, dizzy and sick. Roche came closer and Jared could feel his breath on the skin of his cheeks, and smell the whiskey he must have drunk over lunch.

“Mr. Padalecki, I put it to you that you were gay and openly so. I put it to you that you saw other potential partners, and looked at your wife as an obstacle to your activities. Yes, there are photographs of your injuries but that proves nothing. Your wife assures me that you were a drinker, and that you often hurt yourself while you were under the influence.”

“That’s not true.” Jared could feel his head spinning and he tried hard to breathe, his chest tight. “I never drank more than a glass of wine after work and I never even looked at another man, until I met Jensen. I wouldn’t hurt Alice. I would never hurt her.”

“You resented your wife; your father told me how you had to be forced into marrying her. Your father also told us you have always been a violent man, but that he hoped your wedding to this wonderful woman would change all that. He gave you a job in the family business and he allowed you time off to recover from your, almost constant, injuries. Everyone has done so much for you, Jared and yet you have repaid them by ruining everything with your violence and sexual practices.”

“Stop!” 

The courtroom sat in stunned silence as Jared’s mother rose to her feet. Jared couldn’t take his eyes from her, his mouth was dry as dust, and his chest throbbing as he clutched at his seat. 

“None of this is true,” she said and was crying now, sobs shaking her. He could see his dad trying to pull her down, trying to force her to sit and, to his amazement, she shook off his hand, pushing him to one side. “My son is the one good thing to come out of my marriage. My own husband was an abusive bully, who used his money and power to control everyone around him. He could not accept his son was a kind, gentle man. Neither could he accept my son might be gay. He did everything in his power to manipulate my son, to get him to do what my husband thought was best. My son wouldn’t hurt a fly. Every time he got hurt I wanted to fly down to be with him, but his wife _insisted_ that it wasn’t necessary. I knew that Jared wasn’t clumsy or drunk, or any of the things he has been accused of.” She glanced at her husband who looked stunned, astonished even at her outburst. “And you know that too, Gerry. I know that you know that too.”

Jared was half out of his seat and the court suddenly irrupted into chaos. Alice was on her feet and her expression spoke volumes. All the lies she had told were exposed there in her eyes, and even Roche who had been stunned into silence could see the truth for what it was.

The trial was halted there and then, and the judge sent everyone home to calm down. Jensen had to half carry Jared out of the courtroom and help him run the gauntlet of press that were waiting there for them. He made sure he got them home to the safety of his apartment, where he lay his lover down and knelt by his side stroking that familiar chestnut hair, wrapping soft strands in his fingers, and whispering soothing words. Deep down he knew it was all over, and the relief he felt made him feel weak, and light headed. He wondered what had made Jared’s mother suddenly speak out, and he realized with dull shock, that she had also lived with abuse - perhaps not physically, but abuse just the same.

****

Two days later the case was dismissed by the prosecution. Alice had withdrawn all of her accusations, but had admitted nothing else. Jensen knew that the real truth would never really come out, but it didn’t matter, the cloud that they had been living under for all of this time was lifted, and they were finally free to live together and begin their lives anew.

Jared felt as if he was waking from a hideous nightmare. Kim, Steve and Misha rang to give him their good wishes, Roche rang to offer almost humble apologies, and the media phoned constantly until he told them he was saying nothing.

The final phone call came from his dad. It was halting and awkward and his dad offered no admission of guilt, and refused to say that he was wrong in anyway. Instead, he offered Jared money to return to college to study veterinary medicine, and offered to find him a house close to whatever university he wanted to attend. It wasn’t nearly enough, but Jared knew it was all he was going to get so he accepted. He accepted everything. He wanted a new start and this was it.

**** 

Jared wouldn’t bring any charges against Alice. He insisted that they sold the house, but he also insisted that she got half of the proceeds. Jensen could see the determination in his eyes, and so he didn’t argue. He knew what sort of man Jared was, and now everyone else knew that too. _Congratulation_ cards came flooding in the mail, and the local media ran the story even though neither Jared nor Jensen had spoken to them. Danneel was working on Jared’s divorce, and she hoped it would be quick and relatively painless. Jensen wasn’t fool enough to think that everything would get better overnight but there was now a light at the end of a very long tunnel and he could see the other side.

Jared’s dad kept his promise and bought them a house in Houston. Jared had decided that Texas A&M University ran a very good veterinary program, and he had gotten a place to study there. It was only a small house and had none of the luxury of the house he had shared with Alice, but it was what Jared wanted.

“It is our home,” he said as they stood in the doorway. “Our new start. This belongs to you and me Jensen, no one else but us.”

Jensen stared up at the man he had grown to love more than life. Jared looked beautiful. Tall and muscular, sun-browned and healthy. All of his physical scars were gone and the mental ones had also begun to heal. Jared still saw a counselor twice a week, and he still attended his support group. He had also used some of the money his father had given him to set up a _safe house_ for victims of domestic abuse. Most of them were women, but there were one or two men and they benefited greatly from Jared’s experience and his willingness to share it with others.

A short time after they had moved into their new house, Jensen got his results and found that he was now a fully qualified counselor. They celebrated quietly, and Jensen started looking for a job. Neither of them could quite believe that things were going so well, and they lived each day as it came. Jared would start his own studying soon, and Jensen would be the main bread winner. Jared refused to take any more money from his dad, but the house he had shared with Alice had been sold, and he did take his share of the profits. It would be enough for them to live comfortably for a while, and Jensen spent a lot of the time staring at the check declaring he hadn’t seen so much money in his life.

***

Jared was in the kitchen making breakfast; it was a beautiful day and the sky was azure blue with not a cloud to be seen. He couldn’t help singing to himself, unable to contain the surge of happiness that thrummed through him. Jensen was in the shower and it was all Jared could do not to go and join him. He was stupidly loved-up and amazingly happy. This was what _real love_ was like, and he felt as if he had only just started living; the days of pain and fear long behind him. He had made an awkward truce with his dad, and he saw his mom on a regular basis. He was about to start living his dream and he had Jensen to thank for everything. The older man had changed his life, and he would never really be able to repay him.

His heart jumped as he saw Danneel coming along the path to the house, she was dressed in her _professional_ suit and she was carrying her briefcase. His mouth went dry and the song died on his lips. To Jared this could only mean bad news. As if he knew something was amiss Jensen appeared at his side wrapped in an old toweling robe. He put his hand on Jared’s arm but it was shaking badly and Jared knew his lover was as afraid as he was.

“Guy.” Danneel came in through the open door and it was obvious by her expression that she knew she wasn’t welcome. “Why the long faces?”

“What is it?” Jensen’s voice was laced with panic. “Has Alice done something? Is she contesting the divorce?”

Danneel grinned and reached into her briefcase. She handed the paper over to Jared and he stared at it.

“I don’t understand,” he whispered.

“There is a visitor from Clearwater in quarantine right now, but as soon as his official paperwork comes through he will be good to go.” She grinned wider. “That fucking dog has taken a good bit of my precious time, Jared! You better take care of him, do you hear?”

Jensen snatched the paper from Jared, but he was already beaming. Jared couldn’t stop smiling and he pulled Danneel into a hug, kissing her and then kissing Jensen. It was the icing on the cake, a fitting ending to his story. Finally, right here and now he had gotten everything he had ever wanted.

“Our family is growing.” Jensen put his arm around Jared’s waist and pulled him closer. “I guess that is just another mouth for me to feed.”

Jared laughed delightedly and let himself be held tightly in Jensen’s warm embrace.

“I love you,” he said and those three words weren’t really enough to declare how he really felt, but it would do for now.

End


End file.
